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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Unhealthy conflict couples suffer the most…

Unhealthy Conflict problems? Marriages that last are the ones that experience adversity and come out the other side more connected.

If a couple can experience a painful disconnect or conflict and can end their communication with more security and more love they are the ones most likely to last.

Couples that see conflict as just another part of their life together will last.

Healthy conflict is about energy, passion, and truth. Couples that avoid conflict remove energy, passion, and truth so they remove that connection.

Dead sex lives due to unhealthy conflict

Every single couple that enters my sessions who tell me they don’t fight also have dead sex lives.

Most couples that have unhealthy conflict that’s destructive also end up with dead sex lives.

You see every relationship has problems so a problem is never far away.

Conflict is a part of a healthy relationship, there has to be passion, differences, energy, debate, differing views, it would be odd if they were clones nodding and agreeing.

People in love are allowed to disagree, but it’s how that disagreement manifests itself.

The problem is always happy relationships don’t build security because always happy relationships don’t exist.

Part of healthy conflict is the foundation of knowing that no matter what you are with someone you can emotionally rely on.

You must know that if the worst of us does come out I will still be loved?

Relationship stress tests each person’s resolve to experience emotional pain and still care about their relationship and their partners’ feelings.

Are you for giving?

It’s important that each person must be for-giving and for reinvesting and forgetting after problems strike.

How the couple deals with their problems is what will makes or breaks their connection.

Most couples will have conflict and die a little. The repetition of this model will over time stack resentments and erode trust.

This disables a desire to stay invested and that process kills their feelings.

People who have lost their feelings generally feel their relationship is over, sadly others will connect to those important feelings using someone new.

This is why learning how to hear what your partner is trying to say is so important learn.

Conflict traits that kill connection

Assumptions, mind-reading, blame, judgment, defensiveness are all destructive traits for any couple.

They must be removed.

Too many people are defending themselves in relationships where they are not being attacked, but attack is all they see.

Other couples are experiencing the “mirror dynamic”. That is when one person gets upset and the other person mirrors them.

This creates a dynamic where each person cannot experience their own emotions without their partner copying them.

Other couples will experience one person sharing their upset and the other responds with, “what about what you did to me”?

That is a pointless response and process.

The conflict model each couple is in must reconnect them to more love and more security as this is what makes conflict healthy.

Never threaten divorce

One of the golden rules is never threaten divorce or the end of the relationship.

The reason is once those words are said it sits in their mind as a never-ending threat and hampers their desire to reinvest 100%.

If you are a couple that practices unhealthy conflict then you must correct this as this is cancer for any relationship.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Marriage at Risk from Destructive Triggers”
  • “The Root Cause Revolution”
  • “Top 1% Marriages do Something Different…”
  • “I had to stop her – she was killing the marriage she wanted to keep!”
  • “The Biggest Relationship Red Flag”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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