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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Trying to fix a marriage”?

So you want to fix your marriage or a least discover what is possible.

So is the correct process to work out how we got here and what went wrong?

Or

Do we need to understand what is stopping us getting to where we both want to be?

What would you choose? Would you talk about the events leading to a flat tyre or would you want to overcome the problem of blowing it up or replacing it?

To expand this if the couple sits in the thinking that created the problem then they will go round in circles as the old thinking can only keep them stuck.

If you change their thinking so they can now see how they can achieve the end result they are after then you’ll free their ability to reinvest and grow.

Anyone who walks forward whilst keeping a firm focus on what’s behind them will struggle, fall over or hurt themselves.

It’s not that the past isn’t important to understand, but why start in such a massive expanse of experience rooting around for what might help in the future?

Plus the past will not be rich in the new knowledge the couple will need to gain the life they both want.

So why not focus on the end results the couple is after and if there is a block then look at the specific moments in their history that created that block.

In many cases, the bad historic experiences are simply a result of ineffective thinking so correcting that skill empowers couples to protect the marriage and themselves.

That way the past can be left in the past where it should be, after all it no longer exists and all we can change is how we remember it?

So is the past being used as a weapon and a shield of protection, or is it a platform for learning and growing?

Most of my clients are not fans of sitting in the past raking up the past wrongs because all it creates is more bad feelings on top of an already destructive energy.

They want a growth model that will take them out of their personal hell into a place where they can both be successful again.

The other challenge is the process of change must fit both people and most men don’t solve problems this way.

So the process has to fit with both peoples learning and problem solving styles.

Put a man in a room to drag up the past, make him feel bad, give him no model of how he can fix the problem and move on from it, and you’ll watch him quickly glaze over and disengage.

At best you’ll get a submission, but not a willing pattern change.

The goal is to help him become excited to learn, in fact, if both people become curious and learn how to understand the emotional complexity they are in so it’s simple then two people will be much happier if their actions then have positive outcomes.

Both people need to be empowered not shamed, blamed or judged which is why that process will never enter my sessions.

The process of growth has to fit both people so they can both reinvest in the process of discovering what’s possible for them.

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Personal Development

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

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  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
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  • “Which man should she choose?” – Mini post
  • “Did you enjoy yourself?” – Mini Post
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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
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  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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