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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“I need to leave my marriage!”

If you need to leave your marriage and you have felt this for a while, there may be some things to consider before you change your life forever.

I’m writing this post because I have spent the best part of two decades supporting couples in crisis.

I keep getting messages from people who realised their mistakes too late.

I see people who have left a marriage years before 100% convinced the problems were their partner’s fault.

Imagine this one lady going through three marriages only to find she was her problem all along.

I see suffering every day because people simply do not understand what is going on, so they blindly react.

They have one-dimensional thinking that keeps leading them to attach their problem to their partner.

Imagine attaching a bad feeling to a spouse who has nothing to do with the feeling they are having.

Imagine if that bad feeling is actually connected to their relationship with themselves, not their partner at all?

I have to leave you because of what I’m doing to myself.

So many families are unnecessarily crumbling because of one simple fact.

They don’t know how to understand the problem they are in correctly.

I see so many couples who have lost love, passion has died, and attraction faded long ago.

These couples found a way to reignite their feelings once they understood how.

What I do to see if couples can reconnect is to challenge their thinking so they understand how their feelings are actually created.

If you want to leave your marriage, you must understand why.

For some, this may seem like a simple question with an easy answer, but it’s highly complex and likely to bite people who get this wrong.

“So why do you want to leave your partner?”

I usually get told I don’t love them, and I don’t find them attractive, and the passion has died!

The next question is, how did you turn all this off?

You see, at some point, two people who had never met fell in love, and they turned it all on, then with years of practice, they turned it off.

Most people are blind to both processes.

How people turn off their love, their passion, and attraction are many and varied.

But I haven’t met anyone yet who knows how they did it.

What good professionals know is we are the ones who create all our emotions – most people are unaware of this.

No one can run into our minds and make us love them or feel attraction for them. We do that to ourselves, we are the creators.

So the way we turn off our feelings for our partner is we stop investing in them.

The mechanics are then very simple…

No investment, no feelings and now the illusion that these feelings are permanently gone is a fact in their minds, so a divorce usually follows.

The question is, why did you stop investing?

Now we start to understand if the problems are in their relationship-building knowledge base.

Or in their relationship with themselves, as it is with many clients, especially those wanting to avoid vulnerability.

I usually find the problem is in both.

So my advice to anyone who is thinking of leaving a marriage or breaking up a family.

Ask yourself if you should trust your feelings because many people who now regret their actions later did just that.

Do you know enough to understand your problem because not knowing simply creates repetition of the same problem?

If you don’t, it’s important to find out.

Remember the mission isn’t to glue people together.

The mission is to discover with the right advice what are we truly capable of achieving?

  • About
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know” - July 11, 2025
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages? - July 8, 2025
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?” - July 5, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know”
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?

July 15, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

This gentleman had just found out his wife was guilty of another infidelity and was now at the end of the road. He had tried to forgive her before, but this time in terrible pain, he couldn’t see a way forward and was now planning his divorce. His wife came to me looking for a […]

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know”
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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