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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“I wished I’d never married you!!!”

I’m sat with a couple and they are describing an argument that sparked in her an uncontrollable rage.

The gentleman told me his wife ended up screaming at him, she wanted a divorce, she hated him, she said she wished she’d never married him.

At the same time, she was pushing him down the hall, she opened the front door and pushed him out into the cold and slammed the door.

I looked at him and said “at that point outside of your home, what were you thinking?”

He said, “Her message was very clear, I was so angry and upset I decided to drive to our holiday home for a week to collect my thoughts.”

I said to him, I am now going to ask your wife a question and I want you to listen very carefully to what she says to me.

He nodded.

“When you were screaming at him, what was the other voice in your head saying?”

Her head went down.

The husband blurted out “WHAT OTHER VOICE!!!”

She slowly lifted her head and she said “that’s easy, it was saying don’t go.”

“WHAT! WHAT!” said the husband clearly frustrated, “I would never have gone, I didn’t want to go…!”

Then he stopped dead and looked straight at me and paused.

“OMG this is true, she called me every night and I didn’t answer because I was scared.”

“That’s right” I said “it’s true she didn’t want you to go.”

“Firstly misunderstanding her rage and her words is not your fault.”

“What you didn’t understand was the core reason for her upset and her anger.”

Men are designed to listen to the exact words his wife says and he reacts to those words, plus if she says them he thinks she means them and she means them forever.

He didn’t know her words were a vehicle for her real meanings and he needed to look past her words to connect to her.

Now he can see she couldn’t have meant she hates him and wants a divorce because she called him every night he was away.

He did think it was odd.

“If you had understood what was really going on for her I know you would never have left her, in fact, you would have been there to help her.”

This is so confusing for men to understand if they have a wife that operates this way.

There is logic in her rage just not a logic any man would use or naturally understand.

I spend much of my time helping men and women understand these rages and how to correctly translate them and then help them with the actions they must take when they happen.

It is complex, but once they both know how to understand and deal with the rage the outcome is powerful for the couple as the need for the rage becomes less and less.

It’s a valuable tool for both people to learn and can redirect all that passionate energy into activity’s they would both enjoy far more than any out of control conflict.

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Recent Posts

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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