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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Most common problems leading couples to divorce!

I sit at the sharp end of marital crisis every day, and I see first-hand what everyone is doing that’s leading them to divorce.

Far too many have no idea they are on this disastrous path until it’s too late.

Everyone comes to see me with different problems affairs, loss of passion, loss of trust, money issues, loss of love and emotional connection, to name a few.

Every couple I see, no matter what symptom they bring, has these collection of problems.

To understand these problems properly, we’ll start with a global problem that most people suffer from.

They are influenced by a fear that they are not enough and won’t be loved, which can knock their confidence in themselves and their relationship.

This feeling is devastating for so many people; some are consciously aware of it, and others are not aware, but it drives their actions.

So when a couple starts to practice behaviours that take their relationship to this place of not feeling they are enough, self-protection behaviours can start to cause a disconnect.

Self-protection is a fearful response and kills love and passion, so it’s critical to understand how to avoid getting into this problem.

This next sentence is important!

Every single couple I see has made something more important than their partner in their partners’ mind, and when this happens, relationship problems are never far away.

The important part of that sentence is “….in your partners mind.”

Many people feel they are putting their partner first, but the reality is their partner thinks they are not a priority so end up feeling insignificant and alone in the marriage.

What they think is critical to understand because it’s what they think and feel is what tells them it’s time to leave the relationship.

This is why understanding your partners’ world is so critical to learn if you want the relationship to survive.

What could be insignificant to one person might be the most important thing to the other.

People who have committed their lives to their marriage and their partner will need to feel loved unconditionally.

Very few feel this and so they protect themselves from the relationship.

They withhold their own love from their partner, and they end up meeting their needs outside the relationship.

How many people feel insignificant in their relationship and get their needs met through their work or their children?

Couples get themselves into crisis because they are totally unaware of the small things they are doing or not doing that can build up to a massive problem.

So many couples are suffering because they have no idea how their partner thinks differently to them and so they translate their partner behaviours in a way that means they must protect themselves from them.

This creates a devastating ping-pong effect of two people making a point of being together irrelevant, but neither person is aware of what they are doing.

Divorce is never something a couple designs. 

The root of divorce for far too many people sits in a total lack of understanding of their partners world so…

  • People stop loving and start judging.
  • People start protecting themselves from a partner who is trying to love them but in their own way.

The key to understating is learning.

When couples come to see me, I share that I’m not trying to fix their marriage; they are the ones that do that. 

What I teach is what they must know and do to protect their relationship from so many hidden problems most couples experience.

I have the brightest people come in for help, and they really had no idea what they needed to know to keep a marriage alive for life.

The problem so many couples face is they have waited until disaster hits before they seek help.

That means they now need a strategy of learning that can help them discover what they must now do.

For some, the relationship was right to end, but for most couples, their disconnect is down to lack of understanding on both sides.

And that must be corrected for an intelligent decision to be made about the rest of your lives.

Category iconDestructive Patterns,  Marriage Coaching

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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