When a person’s needs are not met, they can leave their partner many do leave but there is a problem with this.
What do you do when a person is vocal their needs are not being met yet when pushed, they really don’t know what their needs are?
This person knows they are in an emotional deficit because they don’t feel good when they are around their partner.
Unfortunately, they don’t know what their partner has to do to help them.
I have seen a few couples go into an emotional meltdown as they realise they have lived their whole lives, never knowing what they need.
So if they don’t know what their needs are, how on earth will their partner know?
They won’t, of course.
Some will say if you loved me, you would know.
In reality this is their cover for them not knowing.
Others will guess what they need wrongly instruct their partners only to discover they don’t feel better even though their partner has followed their exact instructions.
Very frustrating for both people.
Fulfilling a person’s emotional needs is critical.
No one leaves a partner that fulfils their emotional needs.
No one leaves a partner who knows how to influence a person, primary emotional drivers.
No one leaves a person who helps them feel good about themselves when they are with their partner.
Understanding each other’s worlds and needs is critical for any relationship to feel safe, connected and joyful.
So when people don’t know what they need, I have to help them connect to those needs so they can arm their partner to support them.
It’s essential not to ignore this problem as it can grow resentment, and the person will go elsewhere to meet their needs.