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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The Real Solution to Marital Problems

Many people are acting like withdrawing, fighting, controlling, separation, divorce or affairs is the correct or only solution to their marital issues.

When a relationship stops working this is a sign that a change is required, a divorce may be required eventually, but only once the couple has understood the real reason they are struggling with each other.

For those that think divorce is their only solution, not understanding the real change that’s required could bring on years of suffering for each person as the same problems become repeated but now with new partners.

One lady did this for 15 years over 3 marriages came to me almost giving up on love.

The key to marital problems is learning there are many choices available to couples who are struggling to stay connected. Sadly couples don’t see these choices and so they repeat the same old patterns hoping the outcome will somehow be different.

Even the couples that repeat this pattern tell me it’s crazy when I point it out.

I remember one gentleman was very confused, he had been having an affair for 18 months. He didn’t like his wife behaviours so he started an affair and now he was seeing his affair partner was behaving the same as his wife.

By learning how to interpret the women’s feelings in his life and correcting his own assumptions about what was going on he started to see his lack of understanding was at the root of him creating the exact same problem in both women.

In the end, he was smart enough to see the true problem, but what a mess he had created due to his lack of understanding.

Many people feel they have to leave their partner unaware they themselves were the real reason they were feeling bad in the marriage.

Too many see their problems as a sign of incompatibility.

It’s true that couples do become incompatible, but they didn’t start off that way.

So the question is what did the two people do to create their initial connection and what did they do to create an incompatible dynamic and why.

Wouldn’t it be better to understand the answer to these questions before a life-changing decision is made?

Divorce regret is significant, success rates with marriages from affairs are lower than 5% and divorce rates from second marriage is much higher than the first marriage divorce rates.

This is all because people are not understanding the real problem they face so they assume the problem is solved because they have left the problem.

In many cases these people are not seeing their partner was really not the problem, their lack of understanding of that relationship and what it needed to stay alive is the real issue.

Life long successful relationship building takes education we are not born knowing how. You see relationships don’t just happen they are created.

Initial attraction is automatic in couples that meet for the first time, but a life of love and attraction this takes real understanding and knowledge to create the actions that keep the couple aligned. 

No where in our educational system are we given the knowledge that simplifies the mystery of staying connected and keeping attraction alive.

Imagine if couples took a step back from their relationship and learnt WHY they were struggling and what they could do to realign.

Image if couples could see their problems simply as a sign a change is required and they sought out that change.

The real solution to marital problems is education so both people can understand what they are currently blind to.

With couples that have been suffering for a while the key to their solution is helping them break their destructive patterns and literally one person can create a totally new dynamic if they make the change on their own.

One person changes the other has no choice, but to change in reaction.

I remember one gentleman who had a pattern of controlling his wife. He was doing it to protect himself and the relationship or so he thought.

She didn’t go out without him becuase of the upset it would cause and eventually, she felt so suffocated and disconnected even to herself when she was with her husband she started an affair with her neighbour.

After the initial shock of this discovery this gentleman learnt his need to control her was at the root of her needing to feel free and loved – without knowing he made his own fear happen.

Shocked at his mistake he made it his mission to learn where he had gone wrong and how he could now be valuable to her in a way that this time made her feel free when she was with him.

Freeing her and supporting her enabled her to want to connect to him again.

In this case, just one person positively shifted their whole marriage by taking 100% responsibility for it.

Having the skill to positively influence your marriage on your own is such a critical skill as life is full of challenges.

For most couples when stress hits them self-protection is the model most adopt and so this is one of the patterns individuals must change to keep the marriage alive.

If you want to know how to do this and more for your marriage please get in touch ASAP.

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"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

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Recent Posts

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post
  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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