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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The Real Solution to Marital Problems

Many people are acting like withdrawing, fighting, controlling, separation, divorce or affairs is the correct or only solution to their marital issues.

When a relationship stops working this is a sign that a change is required, a divorce may be required eventually, but only once the couple has understood the real reason they are struggling with each other.

For those that think divorce is their only solution, not understanding the real change that’s required could bring on years of suffering for each person as the same problems become repeated but now with new partners.

One lady did this for 15 years over 3 marriages came to me almost giving up on love.

The key to marital problems is learning there are many choices available to couples who are struggling to stay connected. Sadly couples don’t see these choices and so they repeat the same old patterns hoping the outcome will somehow be different.

Even the couples that repeat this pattern tell me it’s crazy when I point it out.

I remember one gentleman was very confused, he had been having an affair for 18 months. He didn’t like his wife behaviours so he started an affair and now he was seeing his affair partner was behaving the same as his wife.

By learning how to interpret the women’s feelings in his life and correcting his own assumptions about what was going on he started to see his lack of understanding was at the root of him creating the exact same problem in both women.

In the end, he was smart enough to see the true problem, but what a mess he had created due to his lack of understanding.

Many people feel they have to leave their partner unaware they themselves were the real reason they were feeling bad in the marriage.

Too many see their problems as a sign of incompatibility.

It’s true that couples do become incompatible, but they didn’t start off that way.

So the question is what did the two people do to create their initial connection and what did they do to create an incompatible dynamic and why.

Wouldn’t it be better to understand the answer to these questions before a life-changing decision is made?

Divorce regret is significant, success rates with marriages from affairs are lower than 5% and divorce rates from second marriage is much higher than the first marriage divorce rates.

This is all because people are not understanding the real problem they face so they assume the problem is solved because they have left the problem.

In many cases these people are not seeing their partner was really not the problem, their lack of understanding of that relationship and what it needed to stay alive is the real issue.

Life long successful relationship building takes education we are not born knowing how. You see relationships don’t just happen they are created.

Initial attraction is automatic in couples that meet for the first time, but a life of love and attraction this takes real understanding and knowledge to create the actions that keep the couple aligned. 

No where in our educational system are we given the knowledge that simplifies the mystery of staying connected and keeping attraction alive.

Imagine if couples took a step back from their relationship and learnt WHY they were struggling and what they could do to realign.

Image if couples could see their problems simply as a sign a change is required and they sought out that change.

The real solution to marital problems is education so both people can understand what they are currently blind to.

With couples that have been suffering for a while the key to their solution is helping them break their destructive patterns and literally one person can create a totally new dynamic if they make the change on their own.

One person changes the other has no choice, but to change in reaction.

I remember one gentleman who had a pattern of controlling his wife. He was doing it to protect himself and the relationship or so he thought.

She didn’t go out without him becuase of the upset it would cause and eventually, she felt so suffocated and disconnected even to herself when she was with her husband she started an affair with her neighbour.

After the initial shock of this discovery this gentleman learnt his need to control her was at the root of her needing to feel free and loved – without knowing he made his own fear happen.

Shocked at his mistake he made it his mission to learn where he had gone wrong and how he could now be valuable to her in a way that this time made her feel free when she was with him.

Freeing her and supporting her enabled her to want to connect to him again.

In this case, just one person positively shifted their whole marriage by taking 100% responsibility for it.

Having the skill to positively influence your marriage on your own is such a critical skill as life is full of challenges.

For most couples when stress hits them self-protection is the model most adopt and so this is one of the patterns individuals must change to keep the marriage alive.

If you want to know how to do this and more for your marriage please get in touch ASAP.

  • About
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know” - July 11, 2025
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages? - July 8, 2025
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?” - July 5, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know”
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?

July 15, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

This gentleman had just found out his wife was guilty of another infidelity and was now at the end of the road. He had tried to forgive her before, but this time in terrible pain, he couldn’t see a way forward and was now planning his divorce. His wife came to me looking for a […]

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know”
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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