A husband and his wife are in a car driving down the motorway, the husband is the one driving.
The wife see’s a sign saying motorway services.
She turns to her husband and says…
“Are you hungry darling?”
He instantly says “no”
And without another word being exchanged he drives past the services.
What happens next?
Every time I share this story with my clients they all smile because they all know what happens next.
But they don’t know why the dynamic is set up this way and that knowledge is critical.
We all know the wife is going to be upset with him because he didn’t care to ask her if she was hungry or she needed to stop.
We also know the husband is going to be upset with her because if she had asked him to pull over he would have done so in a heartbeat.
She never asked him to pull over and so factually he’s right, she didn’t ask and he’s not a mindreader.
This very simple disconnect is typical of how couples can find themselves in trouble with each other out of nowhere.
Understanding these models of disconnect and why they happen is critical for couples who want a successful life together because they form a foundation of what creates not just connection but attraction too.
The result of years of this type of disconnect can dramatically erode not just their connection, but their love and how they see each other, so it’s critical to get right.