• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • FREE Help
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
    • FAQ
  • About
  • Clients Success Stories
  • Blog
    • Marriage Blueprint
    • Saving a Marriage Alone
    • Communication problems
    • Infidelity
    • Loss of Love
    • Loss of Passion
    • Separation Divorce

“When is a relationship over?”

When someone asks me this question, the answer I give is very simple, many will give you many complex answers, but the reality is very simple.

I have been in a few sessions and have witnessed first-hand the moment a relationship dies for good.

I remember one lady who was giving her husband a chance to rebuild a connection with her. He had many patterns that were not helping and alcohol addiction was one that was causing havoc.

I had my doubts about their chances, but they both wanted to have a go, so I agreed.

He was doing great, and she had hope for the future again.

All he had to do was keep going; he was stepping up and winning her back.

During a session, he lost control of himself and everything he learnt went out the window.

My concern was always about his ability to commit to himself and now my fear for them was playing out.

I looked at her eyes as this happened and saw she had instantly emotionally died, connection and hope gone.

She sat staring into the distance motionless until he had finished his rant.

She decided to see me on her own, but with a new brief to rebuild her life alone.

He still wanted it to work, but I had to tell him the chance she gave him was the last chance.

He had no idea what he did to her at that moment whilst out of control of himself, people do this all the time.

That moment for her was the tipping point of no return.

So the moment a relationship dies permanently is when both people give up and for this couple, that happened in less than five seconds.

When one person gives up there is a window of opportunity for the other to step up.

You see, no matter how certain a person communicates to their partner, the relationship is over for them you can bet there is a part of them wondering if they are doing the right thing.

It’s why when there is a significant break of trust, and a partner allows a window of opportunity, it’s important to know that window can close no matter how much they love their partner.

I remember a gentleman telling me he was working flat out on a presentation he hadn’t eaten and didn’t have time for a break due to a deadline.

He knew his wife was passing his office on the way to her friends’ house for coffee that day.

He texted her and said would she mind dropping off a sandwich on her way through.

She replied on text with these words, “I’m not your slave!”

That for him was a tipping point it was yet another selfish act that showed she wasn’t part of a team.

In his mind, she had clearly given up caring about him but seemed happy for him to work whilst she socialised, so he mirrored her, at that moment he decided to divorce her, and he did.

She was unaware of the impact of that moment and the devastation that would unfold.

It’s why ultimatums are so dangerous.

One person is saying there is a condition where I will be out. If the condition is unacceptable or perceived to be unreasonable, the other person will also be out.

I remember a gentleman told me his wife said “it’s the motorbike or her” he told me he chose the bike.

So the moment a relationship is over is very clear.

Is giving up the right decision?

What is not clear is if two people giving up is the right decision for them; this is where too many couples make terrible mistakes.

You see, many people give up for the wrong reasons, and this creates for them an ongoing problem.

One gentleman came for help with his wife, but she decided not to accept the help and left him.

He would have given up if I hadn’t instructed my team to help him back into the process.

I showed him exactly what to do to win her back, and it worked.

You see, divorce and leaving a relationship doesn’t make people better and more intelligent partners.

It’s why affairs are not reality, and the feelings affairs create shouldn’t be trusted.

Affair relationships will help individuals feel significantly better, but not because they are both magically better partners.

Once the excitement/chemistry wears off, we still got two people not knowing what they are doing riding a wave of chemicals that will die away.

There is no education in a having divorce that will lead to understanding the marriage, and this is a problem, especially for those who may want a relationship again.

Some learn so little from the relationship and the divorce all they gain is how to attach fear to relationships. Now the thought of being vulnerable to someone again becomes a place so entrenched with pain, that they never want to commit to anyone again.

One lady repeated her pattern in 4 marriages and was about to give up. She was smart, intuitive, and successful and she was convinced her husband and ex-husbands were the problem!

While I’m sure they were not perfect, I could see she was part of creating husbands that in the end, she didn’t like.

She was totally unaware of the impact of her own behaviours because all she could see was her own perspective.

I had to tell her the core problem was her – she was initially shocked, but smart enough to agree once she saw what I pointed out to her.

One gentleman had divorced his wife due to an affair, he then married the affair partner and created the exact same problem with her didn’t like it so divorced her as well.

He blamed her of course.

He was a bright, successful businessman but was too busy blaming others as he could only see the world from his own perspective; this disabled his desire to start learning.

He didn’t think he needed to.

He was now back home; he had remarried his first wife but was now more confused than ever because the cycle was starting all over again.

He caused himself so much stress he hit the bottom and knew he needed help.

For some, they like to learn the hard way, which means they will do it their way until they can see their way is actually hurting themselves.

Relationships are over when people give up, but people give up because they don’t understand.

This doesn’t mean that every couple should work.

What it means is that each person can learn how they are a part of creating the very problems they don’t like.

If they don’t learn, they will do it again and again and again.

  • About
  • Latest Posts
Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It. - July 2, 2025
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive - July 1, 2025
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You - June 30, 2025

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Personal Development,  Relationship Stories,  Separation & Divorce

The Marriage Breakthrough

"Follow simple yet powerful steps designed to save and reignite a marriage fast no matter what has happened"
Or call us now on 0845 519 4808
"Click to Claim Your FREE Consultation Now!"

Recent Posts

  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
  • Feeling Torn Between Two Relationships?
  • How to Help Spouse Heal After Affair?
  • How to Rebuild Emotional Safety (Without Needing Them to Go First)

Over 1300 Relationship Articles



Categories

  • 5C Marriage Blueprint (3)
  • A thought for Sunday (29)
  • Case Studies (2)
  • Communication (71)
  • Destructive Patterns (138)
  • Discussion (2)
  • Infidelity-Affairs (42)
  • Loss of Love (44)
  • Loss of passion (34)
  • Lost Attraction (22)
  • Marriage Coaching (443)
  • Marriage Mastery Assessment (1)
  • Masculine & Feminine (10)
  • Mini Posts (3)
  • Monday Breakthrough (2)
  • Personal Development (106)
  • Rebuilding trust (39)
  • Relationship Stories (25)
  • Retirement Crisis (6)
  • Save Marriage Alone (44)
  • Separation & Divorce (34)
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts (54)
  • Stuck (9)
  • Testimonials (59)
  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (750)

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Footer

Expert Help Available Worldwide via Zoom

For assistance from Stephen, contact his team at:

📞 +44 (0)845 519 4808



Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
United Kingdom



Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Clients Success Stories
  • Explore 1,300+ FREE life changing articles
  • FREE Marriage in Crisis Guide
  • FAQs
  • Private Diagnostic Marriage Assessment

Recent Posts

  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply For Help Here Now...

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2025 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top