If you are struggling with your relationship this is a quick message that will help you understand where your focus and energy needs to go.
Not understanding just one of these below will hamper your progress.
Most couples are unaware of all 5
- The first problem is many people do not have an effective relationship with themselves and it leads them to protect themselves from their partner and so they bring a disempowered energy to the relationship.
- Many people don’t understand how their partner is totally different from them so they are not capable of positively influencing their partner through the ups and downs of life together.
- They don’t know the practices that create alignment in all the areas that are important such as kids, money, communication etc, so they are usually on different pages.
- They struggle to maintain passion because they never knew what created it – for men it’s different to women.
- They don’t build an exciting vision of their future so they are never working as a team moving towards the outcomes they both want.
The end result of not understanding all this critical knowledge is the couple will do their best building a distorted relationship that’s about fear and control and it’s leading them towards disconnect.
The distortion is killing their love and they never knew
When a person is blind to what actually keeps a relationship alive they at at risk of losing everything.
It’s so interesting.
If I said there was a 50% chance of their plane crashing I bet that most people would not entertain the idea of getting on that plane.
Yet knowing there is a 50% divorce rate why do so many couples risk their most valuable commodities, their time, their money, children.
I see so many couples who have been on this life path and lived such disconnected lives together.
They were holding on just until the kids are old enough to leave home only to enter into their marital crisis as one person says I’ve had enough.
Imagine committing all your best years to a marriage knowing there is a high chance (50%) the marriage won’t last.
Imagine not knowing your problem was actually you, that’s what this 60-year-old lady discovered.
She had multiple relationships over many years each one failing, she blamed the failure on the men until she realises she was the common denominator.
That woke her up to never run those patterns again.
When will they waken?
At some point people are going to realise that love doesn’t just happen, it’s created through understanding and skill.
At some point, individuals are going to realise getting a divorce doesn’t suddenly turn them into a great partner overnight who now understands how relationships work.
All divorce creates is the opportunity to take their lack of knowledge and distortions they are blind to, into another relationship where they can practice killing the love and passion with someone new.
Building a successful relationship is a skill that needs to be learnt, if individuals are going to grow their connection, their passion and their excitement about their life together.
Relationships are supposed to magnify a couples emotions.
We are supposed to magnify more love, more passion, more joy, more adventure etc.
The couple who are practising the distortions will be magnifying more disconnect, more judgements, more shame, more blame etc.
If this has made some sense to you today and you want to learn more click the yellow button below.