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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Who have you become in your relationship?

Helping a person connect with their true-self is a significant part of helping that person discover the truth in their relationship – should they stay or go? 

If your relationship is in trouble the message below is for you.

Couples living in marital crisis will both be living in versions of themselves that is not reflective of who they are. Fear is going to be very alive in one or both people.

Fear can be a very destructive force in relationships because the fear can grow to the point where resentments can take hold and create needs such as possessiveness, jealousy and control, these powerful feelings can help a person feel a need to withdraw or have a need to be right.

Fear grows arguments, judgments, blame, revenge for past pains which can lead to emotional demands and manipulation. People can come across as insensitive and being self absorbed, some suffer from rage and this for some can lead to physical violence.

In my experience the person who has lived with fear is unaware their fear became their goal. It becomes their goal because fear changes their normal behaviours and this results in them bringing a distorted version of themselves to their relationship.

You see fears are powerful and have the ability to create thoughts, beliefs and behaviours in a person that are not reflective of who they really are and this change can cause significant relationship problems.

One couple who wanted help where unaware of what they were really dealing with. She was consumed with fear, shaking, tearful living in her own head firmly connected to her past and seeing that as her future. This was disabling her to see her relationship as it really was today. Who this lady had become was sabotaging her desire to get to the truth she desperately wanted.

Initially I had to help the husband understand his role in the relationship and how he could help me to help his wife to feel safe and secure so she could evaluate the relationship from this place.

Being in the marriage or not had to be her choice, but she had become someone who was unable to make that decision safely.

By helping her build confidence within her she understood how to safely connect to meeting her critical needs through what she valued most. She discovered by connecting to her true-self she was safer stronger and much happier.

This enabled her from this new sense of self to evaluate her real experience in her relationship.

You see when fear takes over a couple they can end up in destructive circular patterns and it’s only a matter of time before the fears really take hold and who the couple become is not reflective of who they really are.

The biggest challenge that couples in this place experience is they are unaware they have lost a sense of who they are in their relationship only.

They feel perfectly normal with friends, family and at work.

This gives them the illusion that the relationship is wrong so they must leave it. The realty is the person has created a fearful and painful energy within them (a different self) with their partner which is not present at work and with friends or family.

So what is the truth, is their relationship really wrong or is their real pain coming from who they have become when they are with their partner?

This discovery is critical to understand especially where a whole family is at stake.

This is why so many couples regret divorce and repeat destructive patterns in new relationships.

They are not aware of who they become and where their real pain comes from.

One lady came to me after 3 failed relationships that took 15 years, she was about to give up on love. She learnt with me that her fears had taken over, she kept becoming someone she was not “a very negative her” and this brought out fears in her partners.

She learnt how to connect to her true-self and what it really takes to make a relationship work.

Identity is powerful and when we lose it we can feel very lost at this point it’s far easier to see what’s negative in your partner than in yourself.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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