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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How To Get My Partner To Change

Thank you for all of your questions regarding your relationships problems. One of the questions that kept coming up was about how to change your partner.

Many relationship experts would frown at this question because trying to change someone to be who you want them to be so you can be happy smacks of controlling behaviour…however…

As you go about your daily life you know that there is many versions of you created by differing life conditions. So an individual may notice that their partner has changed and just wants the old them back and this is wanting change for good reasons.

For example: A woman married with children and has a career creates very different versions of herself to cope with everyday life conditions and so she changes to get the best out of all the situations she finds herself in. She can shift from mummy to best friend to important business decisions to sex with her husband all in one day. All of those scenarios require a very different versions of her to make that happen.

When a change happens where she feels out of control she can become fearful and so now she will go into a fearful version of herself.

Example: Let’s say she fears her relationship failing, this changes her even more, and so each of her normal life conditions (work, parent, daughter, friend, wife) now feel very different to her so therefore her behaviours start to change. Inside her she will start to see the world differently and she feels that everything feels wrong.

If she stays worried or fearful for a long time what can happen is she can become stuck in this distorted version of herself without knowing and without a clue of how to shift it.

So when her partner talks about wanting her to change what he really wants is for her to get back to the happy version of her which will be good for her and obviously for him.

The problem happens when one person goes into a fear state the other can follow confused as to what’s going on. This can happen to men and women equally.

The best way to change your partner to be happy again is to be the best partner you can be. Love and support them though their problems and don’t follow them into a place of fear where if practised for long enough you can both become very good at it and be constantly on red alert for problems.

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Do You Want
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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

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Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
  • Never Ignore Your Partner’s Cry for Help – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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