I hear many people assume that their relationship history is a good predictor of what the future will hold.
People with this belief can feel less motivated to deal with any relationship problems as they think they can predict the outcome of any exchange.
I meet so many people who are giving up due to their predictions unaware there could be a new way forward for them.
So I agree that if a couple keeps running the same old patterns, the outcomes can be much the same.
The problem is, why would anyone want to keep running these patterns that clearly don’t work?
In essence, couples run the same patterns because they are unaware of how to change them and what to change them to.
I have met many couples that can predict the path their conflicts will take and how it will end up.
So this is wearing and boring for any couple.
Any breakthrough happens when either the couple or one person changes their approach to their situations or challenges.
By changing their approach, the couple is likely to experience different emotions, so their attachment dynamic can change.
It can’t stay the same!
This why learning how couples can change their patterns is so important so the couple can gain the right perspective on what they are capable of.