Today’s post is about the power of forgiveness and how for this lady avoiding this powerful step collapsed her whole life, she could have had it all, but ended up alone.
Many people struggle with this problem, they end up taking the past and all it’s problems everywhere they go, so they are never free of them.
I remember one client in 2013 who was hell-bent on being right about a problem she experienced with her husband. She would come to each meeting with me in Harley Street to present her case and back it up with articles from all over the web.
She would social proof her case by sharing other people’s thoughts from friends to professional opinions to gain more weight for her argument.
She was right, he was wrong and that was that.
Even as the relationship broke down she still kept banging that same drum, how unfairly she had been treated by him.
To a point she was right…
But there was a fundamental problem that she couldn’t see despite being told about this.
The bigger problem wasn’t what he did wrong, everyone makes mistakes it’s how we learn.
In fact, he admitted he was at fault once I explained how his behaviour had affected her.
The problem was in her inability to forgive him, especially when what he did was unintentional.
There is no question that what he did hurt her and he agreed.
But not being able to forgive him meant this lady had trapped herself in her own life rules and was suffering because of them.
Her lack of desire to forgive him was her problem and became more of a problem than any of his actions.
What she also couldn’t see was her desire to be right was far more important than everything including protecting her marriage.
In fact, she was so blind to her own behaviour that it had become more important than even her own happiness and what she valued.
She said “love” was important to her, but none of her actions were “loving” to anyone.
Her decision to be right had collapsed the marriage and had hurt her own children, she couldn’t see being right was now more important than her children who were also being affected by this process.
She lost everything and everyone, but at least she was right.
Today’s message is about learning the importance of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the bridge to reconnection and choosing to not forgive past wrongs and holding onto them hurts that person the most.
It’s their decisions on the back of their inability to forgive is what will affect those they say they love.
The loveliest people in relationships are hurting each other and doing terrible things to each other, but many won’t choose to forgive, so they suffer.
Understanding how forgiveness works is critical to freeing anyone from past wrongs or upsets.
In many cases, those wrongs only sit in the mind of the person who won’t let them go, whilst the world moves on.
Choosing to not forgive, is like drinking the poison and expecting others to die.
If you are in this place maybe now is the time to reclaim your life.