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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Relationship Advice For Women

Yesterday we spoke about helping men to be successful with their partners. Today the basic principle of putting yourself in the shoes of your partner is just as critical for her to do for him.

In other words how to understand him and why he does what he does.

One of the biggest sources of pain for most men is the inability to please, or be successful with his partner. The biggest pain for him is knowing he has failed her and he is not her source of pleasure.

Having worked with so many couples over the years I know that many women do not believe that pleasing her is his goal because she feels so dreadful when she is with him.

The reason is because either he is giving but not in the way she wants or he has given up with her and has found other ways to feel successful which could also benefit her, i.e. working to create money and she likes money so she would feel happy with this even if she’s not happy in other areas.

What I want the women reading this to know is his intent is good he wants to please you he wants to feel successful with you, but he is lost and doesn’t know how. If you have never told him how, how would he know. Even if you feel you have told him he won’t understand.

Essentially what he wants is to be able strong, decisive and consistent with you just like he is at work. Ironically this is what you want too, but most men don’t do it through fear of upsetting her.

So when he is presented with problems from a females perspective he is going to be lost. It doesn’t matter how many times you nag him you won’t get through he just won’t hear you.

Whilst you are focused on him not understanding you and his clear lack of love and understanding for you. He is focused on more failure and more negative energy hitting him. This is just further proof he can’t be successful with you and so he gives up.

Key advice for women

If he is shutting down getting angry or running away by working late, or maybe he’s spending time with his friends it’s not because he doesn’t love you, it’s because he does.

He watches you go on a rollercoaster of emotional states and he thinks if he stays away the storm will calm down and all will be well again. This is his fast fix for her to feel ok again.

Eventually this does work in his eyes because all will seem calm, but she might have given up communicating now she knows she can never get through to him and so the relationship is dead for her. So calm has two meanings in the relationship.

Now we are clear his intent is good and you understand a little more of what he needs and he’s not trying to hurt you what can you do to really get through to him.

Show him that you trust him and you respect him. This is critical to him he needs to know you can see that he is doing all he can to make things work even if he is lost with you. Help him understand you do value him and why.

Essentially he needs to know you love him and your love is unconditional. Unconditional means no matter what. If he is down or in a bad mood even if you are angry at him because he has done something wrong. Love him like you would love your children.

Next is of course the most obvious plan sexual situations and seduce him. Tease him surprise him show him your love. Provoke the masculine out in him.

Every women has the ability to be far more exciting and attractive to her man than any newspaper or movie.

Your man needs to have the real you, not the locked down fearful one afraid she is not enough and fearful she won’t be loved.

So the question now is, when you look at the two articles where does the block now sit in your relationship.

Who is holding back who is not giving their true selves to the relationship and how can you help them to make the changes they want.

The key to a successful relationship is to be who you are and to give your partner your gifts. So hold yourself to a higher standard and be the example.

  • Who goes first, who cares just take action and reclaim the essence of who you both really are.
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • All successful people have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce! - May 30, 2020
  • 10 Steps for Divorce Prevention - May 25, 2020
  • Marriage Breakthrough – “Why did they change their minds?” - May 23, 2020

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

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Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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