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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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She nearly divorced him for the wrong reason

Sometimes I can see a person is about to make a disastrous life-changing decision and I have to show them a safer path.

Today’s post is about a lady who was so confused about her life and how she fitted into it she, was heading towards a life-changing mistake that she was blind to.

There are times in a person’s life when they can feel so unhappy they feel that nothing feels right.

They might feel heavy, constantly down, not sleeping. They might struggle to find their life purpose or struggle to connect with others.

They can feel very lost and exhausted as they search for happiness that never comes along.

Some people in this situation can conclude their marriage is one of the reasons for their unhappiness and can start the process of exiting it.

What if that assumption is wrong!

What if their unhappiness is attached to something far more fundamental than their marriage their job their friends or their life?

Many people in this situation can look to the outside world to give them what they need unaware their internal world is where their solution sits.

So what’s your nature?

What if the person is disconnected from their true nature in their life?

Can that affect a persons happiness?

I remember working with a lady who used to be a successful actress.

Since that time she had struggled with her life direction, marriage, business and friends, even her family became a problem for her.

Her parents had convinced her as a child to become an actress and she was very successful, but it never felt right for her.

It’s like that career was their dream not hers, but she complied to please them.

She didn’t like small talk and the connecting chitchat that other women seem to love, she loved being on her own and she didn’t let friends in easily.

She only liked to speak if there was a point.

She valued peace and freedom, but she also needed to grow as a person none of which she experienced.

Everyone she knew wanted her to attend parties, be involved with social media, fashion she wasn’t interested.

She didn’t like the spotlight and always wanted to escape any social gatherings, she could do it but she was always checking her watch.

Her parents and the friends she did let in, all took her towards being the extrovert she was as an actress.

What they never knew was being an extrovert was an act she put on for them.

Part of her true nature was being an introvert.

She had spent her life trying to be what others wanted her to be and she became unhappy, nothing ever felt right.

The moment she understood that the very energy she had been avoiding “that introverted energy” was actually her biggest strength.

That realisation changed her life.

It meant she could become enough just by accepting that about herself.

Her battle to perform to please others or perform to be successful could now stop she was free.

By embracing that truth in her and by her becoming her own validator she then connected to the freedom and the peace she longed for.

Now she could embrace herself now and her future direction as her new self.

Her husband was always going to accept her either way and love her.

She thought to be accepted and successful she had to perform and be something she wasn’t and she attached that pain to everything including her marriage.

Not understanding this was leading her into divorce as she was always unhappy, upset at him always questioning, never getting to an answer.

The moment her battle stopped she could embrace her true nature in her life as a whole person self-accepting and self-validating.

That alignment meant she could embrace her marriage from a place of strength moving her towards what she wanted and need most.

She could now accept that just because she didn’t like social situations or parties or like chatting about nothing with the girls this was just who she was.

She now had permission to be herself by herself.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

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Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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10 Harley Street
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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • What will break the connection? – Mini Post
  • Knowledge isn’t power – but it’s a start – Mini Post
  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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