Sometimes I can see a person is about to make a disastrous life-changing decision and I have to show them a safer path.
Today’s post is about a lady who was so confused about her life and how she fitted into it she, was heading towards a life-changing mistake that she was blind to.
There are times in a person’s life when they can feel so unhappy they feel that nothing feels right.
They might feel heavy, constantly down, not sleeping. They might struggle to find their life purpose or struggle to connect with others.
They can feel very lost and exhausted as they search for happiness that never comes along.
Some people in this situation can conclude their marriage is one of the reasons for their unhappiness and can start the process of exiting it.
What if that assumption is wrong!
What if their unhappiness is attached to something far more fundamental than their marriage their job their friends or their life?
Many people in this situation can look to the outside world to give them what they need unaware their internal world is where their solution sits.
So what’s your nature?
What if the person is disconnected from their true nature in their life?
Can that affect a persons happiness?
I remember working with a lady who used to be a successful actress.
Since that time she had struggled with her life direction, marriage, business and friends, even her family became a problem for her.
Her parents had convinced her as a child to become an actress and she was very successful, but it never felt right for her.
It’s like that career was their dream not hers, but she complied to please them.
She didn’t like small talk and the connecting chitchat that other women seem to love, she loved being on her own and she didn’t let friends in easily.
She only liked to speak if there was a point.
She valued peace and freedom, but she also needed to grow as a person none of which she experienced.
Everyone she knew wanted her to attend parties, be involved with social media, fashion she wasn’t interested.
She didn’t like the spotlight and always wanted to escape any social gatherings, she could do it but she was always checking her watch.
Her parents and the friends she did let in, all took her towards being the extrovert she was as an actress.
What they never knew was being an extrovert was an act she put on for them.
Part of her true nature was being an introvert.
She had spent her life trying to be what others wanted her to be and she became unhappy, nothing ever felt right.
The moment she understood that the very energy she had been avoiding “that introverted energy” was actually her biggest strength.
That realisation changed her life.
It meant she could become enough just by accepting that about herself.
Her battle to perform to please others or perform to be successful could now stop she was free.
By embracing that truth in her and by her becoming her own validator she then connected to the freedom and the peace she longed for.
Now she could embrace herself now and her future direction as her new self.
Her husband was always going to accept her either way and love her.
She thought to be accepted and successful she had to perform and be something she wasn’t and she attached that pain to everything including her marriage.
Not understanding this was leading her into divorce as she was always unhappy, upset at him always questioning, never getting to an answer.
The moment her battle stopped she could embrace her true nature in her life as a whole person self-accepting and self-validating.
That alignment meant she could embrace her marriage from a place of strength moving her towards what she wanted and need most.
She could now accept that just because she didn’t like social situations or parties or like chatting about nothing with the girls this was just who she was.
She now had permission to be herself by herself.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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