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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Worst relationship mistake you can make”

When I look at the most destructive behaviours couples experience. Understanding this specific pattern can help them avoid many common relationship traumas.

I have been thinking about this post for a long time because it’s a challenge that I see so often in all kinds of relationships.

So my hope is this may trigger some new thoughts in you to support your own growth and success.

I’ll start with an intervention I saw many years ago. 

A lady had lost connection with her emotional self due to past traumas and she was living in a fraction of who she really was.

This resulted in her bringing a distorted meaning to her life, and it was affecting herself and those who loved her.

One part of the process touched on her being upset with her sister.

Her sister had just given birth and had used this lady’s name to name her child.

She was furious that her sister would steal her name.

Of all the ways to look at that situation, she saw her sisters action as stealing.

She had missed the fact that her sister was actually loving and honouring her by naming her child after her.

This lady was so shocked at how she had got this so wrong.

This is what I see so often in my sessions.

Just because you think it – it doesn’t mean it’s true!

People are constantly buying into meanings they made up that has no place in fact or reality.

It’s far too easy to judge, blame, and look for what’s wrong, but all this does is erode connection.

It’s harder to look for the good and put meanings that proves your ability to trust and believe in your partner to bring out the best in them.

The problem is that people are failing to see that there are many other ways to look at any situation.

If both people end up putting the wrong negative meaning to the situation, they will both naturally trigger self-protection in the other.

The need to self-protection is a connection killer and many marriages end on the back of this.

It’s critical that each person be is responsible for putting the correct meaning to situations and their partner behaviours.

Sadly most people end up bringing an energy that leads the couple into needing defensive behaviours.

“I need to protect myself from your view of me” is where many end up.

Working on yourself to bring the right meanings to your relationship is the most critical starting point.

Recently two professional women worked on themselves with me on their own to rid themselves of these types of issues.

Each one had to rid themselves of the fears that were leading them to bring the wrong meanings to their relationships.

My message to everyone in life is if you want a better life then you must become better.

Being better starts with your ability to see the whole picture and then choose the version of yourself that brings out the best in yourself and your partner.

These two ladies understood this and both reaped huge rewards.

Case 1 – I was in tears

Case 2 – Lawyer Saves relationship alone

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “We’ve NEVER been a TEAM!”
  • “How To Stop Fears Taking Over Relationships!” 
  • The Blame Game Trap!
  • “The Relationship Mirror Problem”
  • The Success Path for Failing Marriages

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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