If we split up are we making a mistake?

Who Have I Become?

This is a significant worry that just prolongs the agony of staying in a relationship that feels wrong.

I also see too many people regret their decision to leave their partner, so if you are unsure please find out.

Too many people find that the solution of leaving is very painful so some short term effort could avoid that long-term pain.

So do I stay or do I go?

The natural reaction to painful situations is to move away from them, this is why couples look to get out when they can’t see a way forward.

However just because they can’t find their solution it doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

The key to understanding if you are right for each other is to become the mirror of what you want your relationship to be like.

When couples in trouble come for help, very often they want me to work on changing their partners behaviors.

Whilst that could be one of the goals the real goal is to help the couple both look at themselves and help them to become the best they can be in the relationship.

You see when couples hit problems effectively they mirror each other. They pull love away, judge, punish, lose respect for each other.

Effectively the couple enter into behaviors that are not reflective of who they really are. They reflect two people in fear coping and surviving.

In essence they have become someone they are not, hating who they have become and end up blaming their partner for the change in them.

They create a mirror of what they don’t want.

If you really want to find out if your relationship is over become the mirror of what you want.

By becoming the mirror of what you want two key things happen. Firstly you’ll feel better because you will be back in alignment with yourself and what you say is important to you.

Secondly as you give the gifts of the real you to your partner you will discover if your partner follows your lead and becomes someone who wants to give to you or will they continue being destructive and take from you?

It takes about 3 months of your consistent behavior to understand your relationship truth.

This is why couples are in 3 month relationship building programs with me to understand their reality so they don’t spend more time wondering and making costly mistakes.

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