If one person thinks the marriage is over and the other disagrees, what do you do? This couple from Manchester, Brian and Christine share their personal story of trauma and their courage to discover their truth for their son…
My wife told me out of the blue that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. This came as a complete shock to me. I had known that things weren’t great between us but had just assumed it was one of those patches that every marriage goes through. Clearly my wife felt very differently.
As we have a young child we agreed that we would go and see a couples counsellor – a decision that was pretty disastrous. That counsellor took a difficult and upsetting situation and turned it into something much worse. The sessions were bleak, depressing and frankly fairly poisonous – they made us both feel awful about ourselves and our relationship and made us believe that there was little hope for us to turn things round.
After several sessions with that counsellor things kind of fell to pieces and I was pretty convinced that we were heading for divorce.
I felt that there had to be a way for us to work things out and wasn’t prepared to give up. One day I found Stephen’s website and it was clear that his approach was completely different. I called his office straight away and spoke to him later that day. We only spoke for 10 minutes but those 10 minutes made more sense and gave me more hope than several hours with the previous counsellor ever did.
He seemed to intuitively understand what the problems were and what could be done about it. And it was clear that he worked fast. I knew we were in deep crisis so I booked us in immediately.
My wife by this stage was convinced that our relationship was over, but agreed to see Stephen for the sake of our son.
We both started off with some individual sessions with Stephen. Stephen challenged us both around the thinking and behaviour that had led to to be in crisis. He showed us as individuals where we had gone wrong and the ways we could change things to make things work. He continually challenged and pushed us forward.
After our individual sessions we moved into his premium 3 month programme. This was the best decision we made. Stephen clearly put a huge amount of thought and planning into our couples sessions and that paid massive dividends for us. Things were still pretty bleak when we started the couples sessions but within a few weeks things started to improve. After just 2 months we are in a completely different position – a position I hadn’t believed was possible.
We have now reconnected and are rebuilding our marriage with huge hope for the future and a completely different understanding of ourselves, each other and our relationship. Far from having no hope (as the previous counsellor had told us!), Stephen has shown us how to get out of this crisis and how a wonderful, happy marriage is completely available to us. He is showing us step by step how to rebuild our relationship and how to never return to the crisis that we faced.
We still have further sessions with Stephen but he has already worked a miracle for us. Day by day our relationship is getting better and better when a short time ago I was convinced it was over. I cannot thank him enough for saving my marriage and my family from a situation which seemed completely devoid of hope.
- If you are interested in the Three Month Marriage In Crisis
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