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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Keeping their passion for each other alive

I was working with a couple, and the topic of motorbikes came up. This lady quickly commented that she wouldn’t let him have one! He sat sad and motionless looking down, saying nothing.

I smiled at her and said, “Is he five and are you his mum?”

One of the most important energies a relationship must create is the ability for both people to be free to be who they are so they can live the life they want to live.

The moment a persons’ energy is restricted in any way that person will start to lose connection with themselves and attach those bad feelings to their partner.

So many people turn up in my sessions totally lost. They don’t know who they are anymore. They don’t know how to trust their emotions, so they sit in a half-life paralysed unsure what to do next.

It’s critical for a couple to survive that their connection with themselves is healthy, connected and alive.

One lady wanted a tattoo, her husband said no. I asked him why he would try to stop her.

He said “Where would it stop? Drugs, alcohol, affairs?”

It’s very common for people to try to control their partners so they feel safe and loved, but just this process can change their connection negatively.

The reality is the moment there is any kind of negative control; it disconnects the person from who they really are, and when this happens, love can struggle to exist.

Freedom is a critical energy couples need to embrace because it means that trust and wanting the best for each other is at the core of their relationship.

If there is reduced trust and they want to stay together, one person will want to actively control their partner, and this usually creates a rebalance in the relationship of the controlled person becoming passively controlling as a result.

So imagine there is no trust and no freedom, and as a result, there is no love what direction will that couple eventually go?

This is one of the processes couples use to protect themselves from each other, which is the perfect process to kill passion and love.

I remember going to a chiropractor, and the women on reception said I know you, you’re that relationship guy.

She then went on to tell me how her relationship was perfect because she had her husband well trained.

Couples must be careful, if one person for a quiet life rolls over and always does things their partners’ way what’s the cost?

It is so important that people in relationships have passions and dreams, and both people embrace each others dream life.

Authentic lasting passion in relationships comes from not needing to focus on security and their fears. Security in a relationship only works when it comes from what connects two people with themselves minus their fears.

A focus on security, protection and trust will strangle and kill their love and passion.

What creates true love and lasting passion is the freedom in both people to be connected to an energy in themselves that magnifies everything that makes them both happy.

Individuals in relationships need to love how they feel about themselves when they are with each other.

So they must find a way to learn how love, passion, fun, adventure, freedom, humour, joy, growth, and everything they personally value is what actually creates the foundation of security and protection.

This skill is exactly what I empower my clients to learn how to do.

So many people have been through life challenges that naturally test their ability to trust their partner but not trusting them is not the answer.

Not trusting someone has never created more passion within both people.

They must understand the truth of their disconnect because if it’s not understood properly the couple can reduce their trust in each other resulting in a reduced desire to contribute to each other and this can lead to a damaging needs deficit.

A needs deficit is where two people are starting to meet their core needs outside of the marriage, so the need for being married becomes less and less.

So as you can see as couples struggle with each other, their need for security-based energies rises, and this naturally kills their passion for each other and their life together.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
  • Feeling Torn Between Two Relationships?
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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