One of the reasons I set up this free information about relationship problems was I because many people struggled to know where to put their energy when problems strike their relationships.
I do get messages from my readers saying that my words have helped to save their marriages and for me that is worth every second I spend thinking about what could add value to someone in trouble.
So here is todays thought.
I know that many relationships fail for all the wrong reasons. The people that make life changing decisions are doing so without really understanding what is going on within them.
People who find themselves in relationships problems start to do something to themselves without realising and this something is potentially disastrous.
They start to create a pattern of focus which causes them to fall out of love with their partner. They don’t know they are doing this and one day they wake up to what they are feeling. They might say “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”.
You see, to fall in love you both have to do something within yourselves and to fall out of love you both have to do something within yourselves.
Our emotional feelings are created by our translation of what the world presents. The world does not have the power to give us our feelings we create them. So whatever you are feeling you have made.
To fall out of love you have to focus on you instead of your partner. Individuals that do this are usually protecting themselves from their partners actions, or words.
Do this for long enough and the feelings of love will die.
Now we all know how easy it is to misunderstand each other in an intimate relationship, with expectations and fears running high. So if a couple translates their partners words or actions incorrectly they will quickly move to protect themselves.
So what happens when one person moves to protect themselves? Yes the other one usually follows on some level. This is the opposite of what they did to fall in love.
Couples who practice this will eventually fall out of love and this is happening across the globe.
You see we are all the creators of what we feel and the faster couples understand this the more confident they can become in their relationships.
People are afraid they won’t be loved. Yet the power of giving love is theirs and it’s the giving of love that creates the feelings of love within them.
In fact whatever you want to feel, give it. Successful people have learnt that to be successful in life, giving is the key to true fulfilment.
The difference between a child and an adult is children take and adults give. Many couples are running their childhood patterns in their mature relationships.
It’s true a few people that marry are probably the wrong fit, but this lack of understanding is responsible for an epidemic of children living their lives without both their parents present.
So if you are about to break up your family please be sure you are not being seduced by feelings you have created. Whatever you are not feeling in your relationship that you want, it’s probably you that stopped giving it too.
Read more: Loss of love
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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