Understanding Men: What do men want?

Many women who come for sessions with me have a real challenge with the concept I’m about to share with you.

When I ask the men in the session if it’s true they all confirm 100% it’s true, but even though she hears it straight from him, she still struggles to believe it. If she doesn’t understand this she will be challenged in the process of how to solve any problems they might have.

All men have a primary driver in a relationship and that is to please the woman he is with.

If he cannot make her happy this is a source of pain for him. This will trigger the biggest fears all human face. For him it’s proof that he’s not enough, he’s failed and so it’s an indicator he won’t be loved.

The result is he will pull away if he thinks he can’t achieve that specific goal.

The reason many women feel this is not true is because what they experience is the reverse, she might see him shut down, pull away, or he might become frustrated and angry.

For her this might feel like, bullying, controlling or he wants to spending more time at the office or on other interests.

The reason this happens is because he will naturally gravitate towards meeting his needs, especially if he feels he has enough proof he can’t be successful with her.

If he can’t meet his needs with her, or he feels he can’t please her and he keeps getting it wrong, he will feel a natural pull to go to where he can be successful.

This is why many men are working long hours, they have total certainty they will do a good job and significance from the results he gets. This is a powerful force for him.

But, what if he could meet those needs at home with his wife?

What’s interesting is one gentleman commented in a session, he felt that as the relationship started to improve and he could feel successful at home with his wife again and so work started to feel less appealing.

Result: He started coming home much earlier and enjoyed his time with her.

The fundamentals of building a successful marriage with a man is knowing that he doesn’t think like a female. He is not driven the same way she is.

If he is not actively trying to please the woman he is with the question is why?

You see there will be a reason.

Would getting answers to these questions be important to you? How would it feel if you could both learn how understand each other better in just one day?

Imagine if you could spend 4 hours working on your marriage with me so I could help you uncover why you are having problems and what would have to happen for you to both overcome your specific challenges.

Interested? If so get in contact with us and we’ll help you start to uncover the truth in your marriage.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.