What were you thinking?

Here is what I discovered about life that we don’t get taught at any school. Today I’m going to take a deeper look into why so many people struggle with their relationships and lives. This could be what you are looking for…

It’s so easy to do what will make us successful, but it’s also so easy to do what will cause us problems.

You see lots of decisions can put you on a path of success, or failure. The problem is we have been conditioned that if it doesn’t affect us today, then why worry or take action.

The path to success, or not, is created through our philosophies, our thinking. 

The philosophies of the people who are successful in the world are totally different to those that are not. Firstly they have actually chosen to think, sadly the majority of people live in reaction to what they feel and they try to attach a meaning to that feeling. This person is not in control of their future.

Secondly successful people have discovered how small consistent changes within them actually create more success than they could have imagined.

The first strategy for success is consciously choosing to think about what will really get you the life and relationship you want. Successful people search for this information.

It’s interesting that many people are stuck in their lives limited by what they think can be achieved and what they think, is based on very little. I see many people who come to me stuck in their beliefs. They spend more time defending the right to keep the behaviours that will keep them stuck than they do looking for their solution.

Imagine I sat a person down in front of a piano. If this person has never played a piano before we would expect very little. So why is that?

That’s because the person has not consciously created a map or program within their mind of how to play the piano. Mastering the piano takes many hours of practice. That practice is actually creating a map or program within the persons subconscious mind.

Once the persons subconscious mind has been given enough repetition the person will effortlessly play almost without thought.

We all experienced this through learning to drive a car. Consciously it was hard, but after time and more practice we subconsciously drive and we don’t even think about it.

So now imagine this. Two people meet and decide to get married the formal training they have both received on understanding how to be together for life is limited. They actually have no map or program that will safely lead them to success.

They will have to draw upon the only maps of relationships they have and that’s friends, their parents, movies these are the maps they will use to automatically run their relationship with each other when the conscious mind stops taking notice.

You see their conscious mind was very present initially with each other (we call that the honeymoon period) and soon the person subconscious map or program for running a relationship will kick in.

So it’s interesting we don’t expect a person with no training to be able to play a piano, so why do we expect our relationships will last with no training.

Isn’t reasonable to expect failure in our relationships without key skills just as we did with the person who has never played the piano.

We are now getting down to the real challenge. People think they have put in hours of practice with their partners. They assume that the passage of time should create mastery.

Well my answer is it depends on what they have practiced. Most people don’t have a map or a program for running a successful relationship.

This is why training couples on how to understand each other is critical. It’s unreasonable and irresponsible to expect people to just know.

  • So how do I chose someone who is right for me?
  • I want to get married how do we make sure it’s for life?
  • My marriage is falling apart how do we fix it?
  • I have just divorced and want to find love again but am scared I will make the same mistakes.

The answer to all those questions is to firstly become conscious aware you don’t have a map or a program that will lead you to a secure, loving relationship and to get trained.

For training call us today and lead your family to success.

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About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.