One of the most challenging parts of building a successful marriage is when one or both people are living, or are focused in such away they have become someone they are not to cope with their relationship or their life.
This is most apparent when couples misunderstand each others words or actions and they move to protect themselves. They can become frustrated, angry, shut down, sad, depressed or lonely to name a few.
When a relationship goes wrong a person will naturally move to focus on protecting themselves, the problem is, if this focus is practiced enough that person can become stuck in becoming someone they are not and living that way in their relationship.
Living permanently as someone we are not is emotionally painful and exhausting and is something we will want to move away from.
In this version of themselves the person is not free and can attach all these bad feelings to their relationship and so want to escape it on some level.
I see many people trying to escape their relationship because of who they have become in it. They blame their partner for how they feel, totally missing that they are the creator of all their feelings.
Freeing individuals to reconnect with their true selves is key to helping them safely explore their relationship and discover if it’s right or wrong.
This concept of the many different parts of us is not shared in society today, but many people are more aware than they know that different versions of themselves do exist.
These parts are powerful and can be integrated to help a person live their life in who they really are and not in who they have become to cope with life.
True fulfilment starts with knowing who you are and living in that person, because that’s when you are at your most resourceful to learn the truth about your life.