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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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A professional couple new baby at the point of divorce.

He worked in the financial sector she was a psychologist. In their initial consultation it was clear to see their relationship was dying fast. With a new baby that wasn’t sleeping I could see this couple was exhausted and emotionally empty.

Combination of punishing work schedules and a 18 month old child who was too ill to sleep had triggered this couple into an automatic destructive process that had to be interrupted.

Both were focused on protecting themselves from the other, they were displaying all the usual coping strategies of blame, recrimination and power struggles leading to unbearable conflicts and days of deafening silences. 

One of the skills I have developed is being able to see which couples don’t stand a chance of making a relationship work and which ones have dramatically misunderstood each other. This is why I ask couples to attend an evaluation session because I want to be sure of the direction they need to take, some couples shouldn’t be together, some have problems which can be solved with help and some can be helped in just one or two sessions.

From what they were both saying in their first meeting with me, anyone would be forgiven for thinking this was a lost cause, but I could see something different, I felt that this couple loved each other. So I agreed to help them.

What was interesting was they were both convinced the marriage couldn’t be fixed, but they both wanted to find out.

So I set a goal they could both connect to. I told them I was not going to help them fix their marriage. I was going to help them discover if it was possible to create a dynamic that could work for both of them. Fixing a relationship in the short-term is irresponsible if the couple were to be fixed it had to last.

I explained that staying together unhappy would not be good for their child and if they wanted the best for their child then they would both have follow the steps I created and be the best they could be.

They both agreed and so we started.

Every couple I see in my program will have a unique process designed just for them.

In this couples example I started by helping them connect with their true selves before we started on any couples work.

I helped them understand their critical needs so they could share them with their partner. This changed the way they acted and communicated with each other. I blocked them from meeting their needs destructively and helped them learn how to meet those same needs in ways which would help them feel much better about themselves.

We also looked at how the couple values had affected their behaviour. They both discovered that they had adopted values systems that meant that life would always feel wrong, shocked they instantly wanted to change.

In other words their individual methods of focus were igniting their fears in themselves and this in turn ignited fear in their partner.

Essential they were acting out fears created years before they met, their relationship was simply re-enforcing the fears.

Once the couple could see where their problems had come from and that neither partner was out to purposely hurt the other, they were able to become a team.

They are now on a new journey of rebuilding this relationship connected to their true selves and because they will be meeting their own needs in the process of meeting their partners the chances of lasting success are naturally high.

 

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"Marriage in Crisis? Application to work with Stephen Hedger"

Your First Step Starts Now

Recent Posts

  • What’s the root cause of our problems?
  • Does their pain matter?
  • “FREEDOM”
  • A thought for Sunday
  • Affairs!

Over 850 Relationship Articles

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Please Save Our Marriage! – Testimonial

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Please Save Our Marriage! This was the first email I recieved from Darren and Sue, they were at breaking point. When they first entered my clinic you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. This was a couple with young children on the edge, breaking up seemed like the only option open to them… Sue […]

“He thought his life was over..!”

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is a little different. I wanted to share with you a clients words about his experience of the pain of his divorce and the process of rebuilding him and his future. Over to him… The words hit me like a hammer ~ “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken, you never were. […]

“His emotions were sabotaging what he really wanted…”

November 3, 2019 By Stephen Hedger

What you are about to read is about is a gentleman in turmoil. He thought he had lost the girl he loved and his one-year-old son. She had left him and this connected him to his core fears, emotions that were powerful enough to sabotage him from getting the very thing he wanted. As his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for saving marriages from divorce through his tailored Marriage Breakthrough Program.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • What’s the root cause of our problems?
  • Does their pain matter?
  • “FREEDOM”
  • A thought for Sunday
  • Affairs!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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