If you’re in a relationship and you feel that you can’t be you, you won’t feel happy and over time you could start to feel that life doesn’t feel right for you.
Are you the person who has to tread on eggshells, who has to hold on to how they really feel, or who picks and complains, but hates themselves for it?
If you find that you have changed to cope with your relationship then maybe now’s the time to reflect on what you want your life/relationship to be like.
Loving relationships are about two people accepting each others differences and allowing each other to grow into themselves as they go through key life stages. Allowing each other to explore themselves and the world they live in.
We are talking about allowing each other the freedom to be who we are, and to be loved for who we are. This means both people removing judgement and searching for the strengths in our partner.
You see if two people have agreed to share a life together then they have agreed to become a team that cares for each other, loves each other, is kind and warm for each other. A couple that looks out for each other and is strong in the way they both need.
A team is made up of two people who have agreed to share a journey together through life and they bring their own unique qualities and skills to that journey.
Ideally this means the couple know their core strengths and they both support their partner where they are weaker on that journey.
The moment a person does not feel appreciated for who they are and they feel judged, controlled, or criticised they will start to change as they feel love being pulled away. This will affect the way the person attaches to their partner and they can shift from team members to enemies.
Anyone who has changed and doesn’t feel good about themselves will be trying to find ways to feel good, but the results are a person coping and not truly living.
For this person they will be living in a world of pain and their mission will be to shut down that pain, shutting down their pain also shuts down critical emotions needed for the relationships survival.
Take some time to reflect, for you to be truly happy in your relationship who would you have to become?
What changes do you really want to make and why have you not made those changes?
Share with your partner the changes you want to make for yourself and how they can support you.
After all if you are happier then the relationship will feel better.