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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Are we compatible?

Are we compatible? This is a very common question and one that gets asked a lot when I’m working with couples? Couples that come for my help want to know if the problems they have are fixable, or do they have some deep-seated problem hardwired into their relationship?

For most couples in crisis the reason they feel incompatible is because that’s exactly what’s happened, they have created an incompatible dynamic. Their dynamic has changed for some reason.

This change of dynamic will create feelings that one or both people simply can’t live with.

The good news is for most couples this state is not permanent once we understand the underlying cause(s).

When I first meet couples in an initial consultation it’s not difficult to see that couples have created a combination of behaviours that would, and could never build and grow their relationship.

Important: These behaviours are going to be in reaction to some underlying cause that would be almost impossible for them to unpick by themselves, which is why couples can feel their problems are impossible to solve.

From the start of the relationship it’s very common that the individuals do not notice this shift of dynamic because life is busy. Careers, children, lack of time, life changes, stress can all mask the reality of the couples real connection, or lack of it.

Couples do not realise soon enough that their relationship becomes disconnected and transactional until a trigger of some kind wakes one person up and they realise they have had enough…

The question is why has the dynamic changed and is it possible to create a new one that works for both people.

I say a new dynamic because all relationships change over time and the skill of creating a successful relationship for life, is understanding how to grow the relationship so the couple remain emotionally connected through all of life’s key stages.

So when I’m working with couples who have clearly created a dynamic that doesn’t work I have two jobs.

The first one is to understand how this unhealthy dynamic was formed and the second is to understand what would equal a dynamic that both people could happily invest in for life.

So what kind of behaviours can cause an unhealthy dynamic?

  • Not understanding what it really takes to build a life long connection.
  • Not growing a deeper connection past the initial attraction.
  • It’s all about me dynamic.
  • Not understanding what your partner really needs and vice versa.
  • Everything becomes more important than your relationship.
  • Stress, depression, anxiety.
  • Past emotional traumas.
  • Lack of honest communication.
  • Loss of kindness and care.

Of course this list could go on…

All of these kinds of behaviours can result in disconnection and so the relationship becomes vulnerable to symptoms that can cloud the real issues.

Example of symptoms: An affair, temporary loss of love that feels permanent, never ending conflict.

So feelings of incompatibility is due to a loss of a healthy dynamic. The good news here is to fix this problem we only have two jobs, understand why the dynamic has really become unhealthy (find the hidden problems) and understand how to build a dynamic both people want to be part of for life.

All couples attend just one meeting with me so I can assess their compatibility before I agree to work with them. I’m interested in helping the couple achieve the lasting results that they want.

If this has struck a chord and you would like that one meeting with me to assess if working on your relationship is a good idea then please click here to book that initial consultation.

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"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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