• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • FAQs
  • Success Stories
  • About
  • Appointments
  • Blog

Can a dead relationship be reignited?

The simple answer to this question is yes because I see it every day. Couples without knowing are creating a dynamic that is shutting down their connection. These couples do have the ability to learn how to create a dynamic that keeps their emotional connection alive if they want to.

When couples come to see me, my mission is to help them understand if they have the ability to create a dynamic that works for them both.

IMPORTANT: I’m not trying to fix them. I’m helping them create the knowledge they need to be able to make good decisions for themselves and their families.

You see the biggest problem people face is if you “think” you understand your problem and you leave your relationship and you’re wrong! The real problem is likely to appear in the next relationship so please understand why you’re having problems before you leap.

So many clients I see are shocked to learn they have been running the same problem for years.

When couples go through this process with me, they discover new ways of understanding and thinking about their relationship. These are unique ways they would never have considered before that help them see their problems in solvable terms.

The most consistent message I receive is “…this process is enlightening”.

This is because when they first meet each other, they are blind to why their dynamic is working, and so they go through years of life together unaware of what is really happening in their own marriage and for many, their connection is being eroded.

Of course, life is busy, kids, careers worries and they don’t stop to consider what is it we don’t know that could hurt our relationship or be hurting it right now?

After learning this very lesson myself, I now have a philosophy for life that says “it’s what you don’t know will hurt you most”!

Very few people are asking questions that will lead them to marital happiness – they are more likely as trouble starts to listen to their fear/survival systems which only have two jobs fight or run.

One of the sad realities that I see a lot of is people would rather live a life of unhappiness than uncertainty so they put up with a failing marriage taking action far too late – most couples should have come to see me 5 years before and there is an argument they should have come the day after they married.

To everyone reading this: Relationships are not difficult to get right once you understand them. BUT not understanding them means a path of pain and suffering which can be easily avoided.

In a relationship, it’s so important to wake up to the fact that you know something isn’t working in your marriage and find out why – TODAY!!!

My clients come to me with a question “…we are in trouble we are stuck tell us what to do”.

One of the many reasons I offer an educational service for couples in crisis is because in my twenties  I was reluctantly dragged to a couple’s councillor with my ex-partner, and I was disappointed with the help.

We spoke a lot about our feelings and our situation, but it dawned on me this very nice lady was offering us no direction or understanding.

She was not telling us what to do, and this was such a source of frustration as we never entered into any solution based model.

Couples who enter crisis don’t have time to get their next step wrong. They have a window of opportunity to learn if their thinking is going to take them in a safe direction for them.

Look at some recent clients who were lost:

1. A couple suffered from a powerful emotional breakdown but at different times. A loss of a close family member shut down emotions in him to the point there were no consequences to an affair that lasted 18 months. 

Leaving his wife and moving in with his affair partner was powerful enough to start to wake him up to his reality. He came to me for a sanity check, shocked to learn he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

He has been working hard to rebuild his wife’s’ trust. Together they learnt why this happened and what they can both do to protect their relationship moving forward.

2. One lady is learning on her own why she stayed so long in a relationship heading for trouble and what red flags came up in her marriage, and she totally missed them.

So she suffered for years.

Now she is learning how to choose the right person for her and how to help him be successful with her so they can become a team. She is also learning how she can be valuable to her new partner and build a future they can both be excited with.

She was always shocked at how much she didn’t know about what it takes to really get it right.

3. One gentleman is learning how to interpret his wife words and actions. He had to stop becoming a mirror to her emotions.

This was a critically important skill to learn because she was never able to have emotions without him making her emotions about him. 

The result is she shut down, and this loss of openness naturally killed their connection and intimacy.

4. Another couple learnt that his wife was so emotionally stuck that no matter what he did, he could never win with her. She was stuck for a good reason as he broke her trust over a few years, but her emotional position would end up leading them to the end of the relationship, and she didn’t want this.

She wanted the marriage to work, but she wasn’t in love.

My mission was to help him understand the behaviours that were keeping her stuck and help her understand the importance of reconnection to her true self.

Her emotional system was blocking her from being her true self with her husband.

The job was to reconnect her to an identity within her that could love him again. She knew her husband was following my instructions; she did feel better with him, so she now felt safe to make this critical shift that would save their marriage from divorce.

5. One gentleman in his 40’s four kids discovered this week why he was confused about his marriage and whether he should stay or go.

There was no question he was unhappy, and he could have left her. But he discovered that he didn’t know how to influence his wife to be happy this was a significant source of pain for him – he was failing!

The result of this failure was he gravitated to meet his needs at his work and through his social life.

By learning how to be a safe, powerful masculine leader of his wife and family this man has now the potential to free her to be who she really needs to be, and this is where he can help her see him differently.

6. After infidelity and addiction, this couple knew why their love had died, and this knowledge helped them to make significant changes that helped them reconnect.

They were only left with how to rebuild their sexual connection.

They were unaware of the thoughts that were blocking their ability to be sexually free with each other. This small shift of thought is powerful enough to reconnect them but difficult for them to see.

Such an important part of their healing/connection and life together.

7. Another gentleman is learning why his wife was asking to leave him. The job is to help this man grow his knowledge of her emotions so he can connect to her successfully – she felt alone, almost an outsider in her own marriage.

In their couples session, I helped her understand why she was in this place emotionally. This knowledge helped her see there was a definitive path to her happiness.

She now has the certainty that by the end of the process, her husband would have the knowledge he needed to connect to her.

So if he did or didn’t would now be his choice and a clear message to her and what she should do.

Helping couples out of their crisis has a very defined structure. When couples can see this structure, they then have the confidence to protect the marriage in their future together.

Understanding this structure of what keeps the relationship safe, passionate and connected is a huge comfort to those who are lost and in need of a safe life direction.

 

 

Category iconUncategorized

"Follow simple yet powerful steps designed to save and reignite a marriage fast no matter what has happened"

Get Access Now!

Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3
  • The Divorce Path – Divorce Prevention Part 2
  • Mistakes that lead couples to Divorce – Part 1
  • Can’t live with you. Can’t live without you!
  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post
  • Committing to Personal Integrity – Mini Post
  • Men are afraid – Mini Post
  • Are you in a trading relationship? – Mini post
  • Communicating with MEN – Mini Post
  • From Stephen Hedger to you…
  • “Divorce won’t solve this…” – Mini Post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Discussion
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Lost Attraction
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Stuck
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

 

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2023 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top