So this couple split up and started to see other people.
When I met this gentleman, he was dating, but every experience was empty.
So I asked him about his ex-wife.
He told me what had gone wrong.
As I listened, I asked him if he was open to a thought.
I told him he had misunderstood his wife.
I showed him how he had misunderstood her communication patterns and how he had made her problems about himself.
I explained what she was doing was crying out for help because she had felt so disconnected and alone.
As he heard my thoughts, he started to cry.
He admitted he had been using his ex-wife as a benchmark for his dates, and none matched up.
I asked him to call her.
Within a few days, they met up and reconnected.
You see, people who love each other can split up when they can’t understand their partners’ behaviours.
This man was brought up by a family of masculine women.
In contrast, his wife was very feminine.
He was hugely attracted to this feminine woman, but he also didn’t understand her as the emotional model was very different from what he was used to.
The result was she felt a loss of connection with herself and him, which profoundly upset her.
She brought that upset to him, looking for help. He translated this as her being constantly badly behaved. In reality, she was acting like a normal feminine woman looking for connection.
Not understanding and not seeing our differences as strengths is a significant problem.
This gentleman clearly loved her, but his feelings were killed by a belief that unless she responded in a masculine way, she was wrong.
By shifting his beliefs, he could see her suffering, and this brought compassion and pain in him for how he treated her.
He never knew.
Lovely people hurt each other because they think how they think is normal and is how everyone else should think.
Masculine and feminine energy has very different agendas and will perceive relationship problems differently.
Getting this wrong causes a loss of connection and, practised over time, creates a need for freedom to reconnect to oneself outside of the marriage.
Then the point of the marriage is in question.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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