Many people see divorce as a solution to their problems, but for most people, all it does is prolong the emotional and financial agony.
As you scan this post you will also learn the heartbreaking perspective of a 16-year-old girl whose parents were in the thick of divorcing.
You see divorce doesn’t make people better relationship partners or better people.
Divorce doesn’t help people understand how they are part of their relationship problems.
Divorce doesn’t make people understand what others need and why.
Divorce doesn’t teach people to understand their role in a relationship.
Divorce doesn’t teach people about their relationship with themselves.
Divorce doesn’t teach people how to keep attraction and sexual energy alive year after year.
What divorce does is it allows people the freedom to run their own problems and lack of knowledge with someone new.
Imagine being in the process of leaving your third marriage only to find out the problem all along is you.
The pain, the suffering, the expense not to mention the guilt of discovering that she never needed to leave her first husband.
The husband she had her three boys with, boys who had to live without their father because she got it wrong.
Three boys who had to endure two stepdads all because she blamed their dad in fact she blamed all the husbands.
You see men and women are leaving perfectly good relationships because they simply don’t know what they are doing.
Everyone suffers and what’s worse is they pass their distortion and their mistakes onto their own children.
They are setting their children up to fail by being poor role models.
It’s heartbreaking because children don’t do what their parents say, children do what their parents do they follow them without knowing.
I remember a 16-year-old girl who was in the thick of her parents’ divorce and she wanted to speak with me, so I agreed.
She poured out her heart to me.
I discovered her fear was not about them staying together or not.
Her fear was about her own future.
She told me looking at her parents and how they were, she now didn’t trust relationships and that meant she would never find love.
And that frightened her to her core.
So we have a responsibility to be role models to everyone we love and teach them how to rebuild trust, how to repair problems, how to forgive and that learning the truth is the safest way to live our lives.
Divorce should only be a last resort as the ripples of pain and suffering last lifetimes when it’s done for the wrong reasons.
