If you want to solve your relationship problems then your approach has to move you both towards a place that will create a world you both can agree is the way it should be.
For most couples who are struggling this can feel totally impossible. The reason it feels impossible is because the way they are approaching their problems is likely to be making them feel much worse without knowing.
Most individuals both want to be happy, however their individual approaches to achieving this desired emotional state are so different, both people WILL become confused by each other.
This becomes an especially difficult challenge if they have both been trying to get through to each other without success for a while.
The couple will either be in a circular battle, be in a power struggle, or one or both people will be shutting down to detach from their individual pain and suffering.
My message today for all couples is to firstly accept that you are very different. If you approach your relationship only from your own perspectives and personal needs I can guarantee that your problems will continue.
So to understand how to fix the problems you are in and how to solve them you must learn three things
- You must understand where your relationship really is.Too many individuals are unaware of how serious their problems really are and they don’t take the right actions fast enough. So you simply must agree where you are…
It’s critical for you both to be on the same page so you can become a team to solve your problems together.
Once you have agreed on where your relationship really is now you must agree on how you are going to solve it.
The golden rule is to not give up. Many couples have been to multiple counsellors and therapists before they get to work with me.
- You must learn how to put yourselves in each others shoes.This is a fundamental challenge and is critical to learn, most couple really don’t know how to do this. So if you are using your own model of the world to understand your partner you will be creating meanings for what they are doing or saying that will not reflect their real intent.
Creating an intent for someone will always ignite severe fireworks within them.
- You must understand what you are both wanting to achieve.Most people are very guarded about moving towards a future that’s a reflection of a past that’s full of stress and pain.
So if you want to solve your problems then clearly they have to connect with future which is safer from them.
When I work with couples these are 3 of the several critical factors I will focus on to help the couple overcome their challenges.
So if you want to overcome your challenges for good why not give us a call. Imagine understanding how to use your current problems to spring board you into a deeper and more passionate relationship.
Remember just because you don’t know how to fix your relationship, it doesn’t mean it’s dead.