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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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He was about to lose her!

So this gentleman came to me upset and confused. What has happened to my marriage? What’s made her so unhappy, and why is she now speaking about leaving me?

He said, “We seemed to be fine we’ve had a great marriage ups and downs like most couples, but this is normal, isn’t it?”

“How did we get here, I thought this happened to other people, not us…”

He went on “I’m a simple man with simple needs I really don’t need that much to be happy.

I agreed with him “…., but one simple thing you want is for her to be happy, is that right?”

He agreed. “That’s why I spent so much time building the business, so she didn’t want for anything.”

I agreed with him that the money was important but.

“For your wife, there was something far more valuable than money, and she has lived a life without it.”

“You see she is very different to you so to help her to be happy you must understand her world and how she experiences it.”

“If you don’t have this critical knowledge, her feelings and emotional responses won’t make sense to you. You won’t respond in the way she needs, and this will result in her feeling she doesn’t matter to you.”

“You need to know she translates your conversations and your actions very differently to you so where you think you’re helping her or loving her, all she feels is isolation, disconnection and over time this pain has turned into her suffering.”

“Because you have not understood this, you are facing a bigger complication.”

“She has had to look after her own emotional needs because she knows that you won’t, which is where you are today.”

“The fact you do care is not going to help you with her today because her mind has felt for years that you don’t care and in relationships perception is everything.

“So I know you do care, but she is not connected to your actions.”

“You can’t tell her, you know I love you because she won’t feel it. You can’t tell her we’ve had a great marriage because she cannot agree because of how she’s been feeling in it. You can’t tell her it will be okay because she doesn’t know anymore, she’s lost.”

“To be fair to you, most men would not see this either. I know your wife has tried to get through to you to share her struggles, but it’s very common for men not to understand what his wife is trying to say. In so many cases, he doesn’t understand the gravity of her words, and so he lets them go unaware of what will eventually happen to their connection/marriage.”

“If you want to connect to your wife and save your marriage, you must make it your mission to learn how she works and why she behaves the way she does.”

“Your wife is the most precious thing you’ll ever have in your life, and so you must connect to what’s important to her.”

“This woman is in pain and is suffering and has been for years; she cannot connect to who she needs to be within her so from this uncomfortable and exhausting place she can’t love you.”

“Her pain through all these years has always been she can’t love you the way she wants.”

“In her heart, she does remember your love, but the suffering has gone on for too long, and now she questions you herself and the marriage.”

“She is asking for space to collect her thoughts, but she needs to know what she has really lost is her connection to being a wife because being a wife became a place that was far too vulnerable so this is why she’s lived for so long as a mum.”

“But being a mum won’t work anymore because the children are about to leave home and mum is no longer needed.

“She knows she can be a great mum, she has a lovely time with her friends and family, but she doesn’t like who she is when she is with you.”

“So if you want to win this woman back she needs your help to get back to who she really wants to be.”

“Do you want to fight for her?”

“Yes, I do” he responded, “tell me what to do!”

———————————

So many men do not know how to hear their wives cry for help. When she is struggling her words and actions, don’t make sense to so many men and so what she really needs never happens and she assumes he doesn’t care.

So many couples are in this kind of disconnect, and so good marriages are needlessly dying.

This man discovered the help he needed to understand his wife and why his marriage had died and what he could do to give them both the best chance of learning the truth about their marriage and it’s future potential. 

 

 

 

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"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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10 Harley Street
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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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