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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Help I don’t feel my marriage will last!”

I don’t feel safe in my marriage, I don’t feel loved in my marriage, I don’t feel appreciated in my marriage, I don’t feel secure in my marriage, I don’t feel heard in my marriage.

Have you noticed that people put a lot of weight on what they feel? But there is a hidden problem few are seeing.

What people feel is a foundational element of how they navigate their life.

People want to feel what they want.

In fact, people can turn their whole life upside down because they don’t like what they are feeling.

This all sounds quite normal Stephen so why are you bringing this up and what’s the hidden problem?

The reason I am bringing your attention to this is because most people I meet are being governed by feelings they have no control over.

It doesn’t mean they can’t take control of their feelings I’m saying they don’t know how to.

So they live lives they don’t like, reacting to each event (reacting = out of control) and never getting to the feelings they really want.

Many people don’t question what they feel, they simply accept that what they feel is the truth.

What they don’t see is what they feel is being limited by how they think and so they miss the other feelings available to them.

What they are not aware of is how they think is creating how they feel.

If they thought differently it would change their perspective and so what they feel would also change.

What most people are unaware of is they are predisposed to a negative mindset.

They are designed for survival which is the process of looking for what’s wrong anyone doing this is in a patterned mindset.

When people look for what is wrong, in any situation it’s easy to find more problems.

So they find proof and stack that proof and this proof becomes their unbearable truth. In reality, their feelings are simply a biased mindset based on a practised focus over time.

For example; if a person thinks their partner is lying to them, they will be on a search to find proof of more lies, what are they hiding what does their lie mean? Am I safe?

It’s natural to do this, hence the need for survival, but the feelings this creates don’t lead the couple to connection it leads couples to judgement and blame and these are the relationship killers.

You see there is always another way to look at any situation so there are many ways to gain very different feelings about the same situation from a new and different perspective.

This is what people are struggling with and now their survival mind takes over.

What people do to themselves without knowing is condition themselves to feel bad because they are unaware of how their mind works, they live reactive lives unable to design outcomes they would like.

In relationships, this pattern is devastating marriages because each person ends up triggering the other to look for what’s wrong and now they both self-protect.

This leads a person into many destructive patterns that will kill their connection.

In fear states, they will both enter an accelerated spiral and it’s exhausting.

People are not seeing the choices and so they keep buying what they feel unaware their feeling is not leading them to happiness or the truth of opportunity.

Their thinking is leading them away from the pain their thinking creates.

This process is the creation of low-level pleasure, people in pain will take what they can get.

It’s like pulling your hand away from a flame and calling that action pleasure – it’s low-level pleasure.

So as one example people can end up attaching low-level pleasure from disconnecting from their partner and putting their energy into things outside of the marriage.

So what I have to do to help people in relationships is help them take control of their feelings.

  • They learn how feelings are really created so they can take back control.
  • They learn how to translate their partner correctly – I now understand what my partner is saying and why.
  • They learn how to evolve and grow in any situation.
  • They learn how to keep myself and those I love safe.

Feelings are powerful – the key to the life you want is in mastering the creation of the feelings that will be the foundation of the life you desire.

To achieve this the person’s thinking has to change.

Thinking creates feelings and feelings will direct people’s lives.

So if you want to direct your life to success then this is critical to understand.

I’ll leave you with this, we all have 24 hours in a day – how do successful people think differently from unsuccessful people within those 24 hours?

The quality of anyone’s life is simply created by the way they think – So if your life isn’t the way you think it should be then your thinking is the problem.

All I teach is how to develop a success mindset that rebuilds people’s lives.

Category iconMarriage Coaching

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post
  • Committing to Personal Integrity – Mini Post
  • Men are afraid – Mini Post
  • Are you in a trading relationship? – Mini post
  • Communicating with MEN – Mini Post
  • From Stephen Hedger to you…
  • “Divorce won’t solve this…” – Mini Post
  • “He will remember it all forever!” – Mini Post
  • “She never knew this was her job!” – Mini post
  • Leadership Skills for Relationships – Mini Post
  • What makes a good partner? – Mini post
  • “Do you have good family values?” – Mini Post
  • “Which man should she choose?” – Mini post
  • “Did you enjoy yourself?” – Mini Post
  • The connection that kills passion – Mini post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Discussion
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Lost Attraction
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Stuck
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

 

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

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  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
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  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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