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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How Do You Make Changes With Couples So Quickly?

When couples have experienced problems for a long time they get into patterns of thought and patterns of behaviour within their relationship which to them feels normal.

These patterns can be destructive without the person knowing and so what to them is keeping them safe may actually be destroying their relationship.

My job is to understand and break their patterns from destructive to growth orientated.

Pattern interrupts are the core of what works in all therapies. However their method of how to interrupt a persons habitual thought process/patterns  is varied. Some methods take years some take months some take weeks some happen in one session.

How long a person or couple wants to take to make changes is up to them. Some people want the process to take time, some people like months/years of therapy.

What I wanted and has become my life mission was to find a way to help couples quickly, couples in crisis don’t have much time because their relationship is already on the edge of divorce/break-up.

Award Winning Master family therapists and the top coaches in the world have discovered that significant changes does not have to takes years or months it can actually happen in just a few sessions, sometimes it can happen in just one session.

What they discovered is changing the face of how we help individuals and couples to live happier and more fulfilled lives. They changed how I worked and 80% of couples in my practice make significant changes very quickly.

Of course not all couples fixed their relationships (20% on average don’t get fixed), but the reason were simple, when an individual has no desire to change and their partner is the one that has to change for them to feel ok then the couple will continue to struggle. Also some people either have totally different life goals, or they really just are incompatible. So in some cases separation is the right move.

The core goal is not to fix the relationship at any cost. Happiness and fulfilment has to be the ultimate result, together or apart.

The process to create change is very simple

Firstly the person has to want to make changes. You cannot force a person to want to change.

People are usually focused to make changes when the threshold of pain becomes too much and they feel they have no choice.

Many couples in crisis give up with each other replacing love with resentment and a lack of respect.

When they come for sessions with me I help them understand there is more they can do to rebuild their relationship than they have been aware of.  I help them understand the differences between the sexes the importance of core needs and values. How to grow together and work as a team when problems strike their relationship.

This helps the couple to understand that maybe there is hope because this a new approach that will actually meets their core needs and help them to be successful.

The next step is to interrupt the patterns that have destroyed their relationship and replaced those patterns with something far more appealing that meets their needs at the deepest levels.

For example: A man may be driven by significance. When they argue he feels he is significant when he is always right, this works for him in his career. His intent and desire is to feel important and strong for her. I help him see that trying to win arguments actually makes him insignificant in her eyes because she feels bullied and controlled not loved.

If he was to look after her in the way she really needed then she would stop at nothing to help him feel strong and important as the real man in her life.

Simple changes massive results for them both…

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Recent Posts

  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
  • Impossible Marriage Problems?
  • “What if I’m not enough?”
  • “Another 5 Years Like This? No Way!”
  • In Crisis, their Minds Destroyed Their Lives
  • “Couples are failing at the basics…”
  • “You Might Be in the Wrong Relationship… But Not for the Reason You Think…”
  • Case Studies: “How Changing Your Perspective Can Fix Your Relationship—Here’s Proof”

Over 1300 Relationship Articles


Categories

  • A thought for Sunday (29)
  • Case Studies (2)
  • Communication (70)
  • Destructive Patterns (137)
  • Discussion (2)
  • Infidelity-Affairs (38)
  • Loss of Love (43)
  • Loss of passion (35)
  • Lost Attraction (22)
  • Marriage Coaching (423)
  • Marriage Mastery Assessment (1)
  • Masculine & Feminine (9)
  • Monday Breakthrough (2)
  • Personal Development (104)
  • Rebuilding trust (39)
  • Relationship Stories (24)
  • Retirement Crisis (6)
  • Save Marriage Alone (42)
  • Separation & Divorce (9)
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts (54)
  • Stuck (9)
  • Testimonials (59)
  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (761)

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.


Click to Download FREE

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Recent Clients: New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
  • Impossible Marriage Problems?
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*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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