• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • FAQs
  • Success Stories
  • About
  • Appointments
  • Blog

“How I see my husband changes”

So I was working with this lady last year they were entering early stages of marital crisis. I asked her this question to get to the bottom of their problems

“Who are you?”

It’s always a question that stops the person in their tracks.

I usually get an awkward “Oh god, I don’t know!”

As we expanded on what the question meant and how she could answer it.

Part of our discussion took us into masculine and feminine energies as part of understanding her identity as a wife.

This area is confusing for many couples to understand, it’s one of the hidden problems that cripples a couples connection and they are not aware of what’s causing it.

I was interested in where she thought her home was. Was she naturally masculine or feminine?

She told me something interesting that I have heard a lot and I wanted to share it with you.

Depending on which energy she is in, she sees and treats her husband differently.

For example, when she is in her masculine energy she treats him like a child and is quite picky with him.

When she is in her feminine energy she sees him as strong, protective, and attractive, but that feeling had becoming less and less and is why they called me.

Both were getting fed-up with each other.

She said she had never thought about this like this before, but this shift of perception of him is true, “how weird” she replied.

Obviously, this is going to confuse your husband so you both need to understand this.

They lost their attraction dynamic

“So how would you define what’s important to you as a wife?” I asked

She said she valued connection, love, beauty, creativity, passion. playfulness, fun, confidence, belonging.

Who are you when you become those energies around your husband.

“Feminine” she replied.

I then said, “so when you are not committed to these important words such as when you are treating your husband like he is five who are you then”?

“I’m asking because it seems you disconnect from what you say is important to you as a relationship partner and then you don’t like how you feel and when you do it”?

“Do you think at times you are attaching these bad feelings to him? Do you resent him at times for those feelings”?

“I hate seeing him that way, it frightens me, I’m not sure what it means!” She was now looking confused.

“You and your husband need to understand this because there is a constant energy shift in your marriage and neither of you is seeing it or knows what to do with it”.

“So you are shifting from seeing him as attractive and then not”.

“If you could both harness this energy firstly it would stop you both worrying and becoming confused.

Secondly, it would help your husband become a warm powerful energy for you, he would enjoy that.

Plus you will be free to become all of who you are, living happily in the masculine and feminine when it suits you.

Helping couples reset their attraction dynamic also helps them build more security.

Loss of attraction and any fear-based energies are terrible for relationships because they stop the relationship from growing.

The husband didn’t understand what was happening to his wife and was sick of her treating him like he was a child.

He didn’t understand what this meant and so instead of bringing what would help he retreated or became upset at her.

Neither person felt good and this had become a strain.

This is a common problem for couples, but is hard to understand without help.

In essence it means many couples are living in the wrong energy and attraction and feeling good is a struggle.

Many try to fix these types of problem by doing practical stuff for each other, but all it does is make it worse as it’s missing the important emotional triggers.

One couple sought professional help and that help suggested they hold hands more often as part of their reconnection solution.

They shared this with me in one of their sessions they were explaining what they had tried that had not worked for them.

This solution would have felt odd for that couple because they are both in the wrong energy to accept the intimacy of holding hands.

Without switching this energy like the lady in the first story they would have not felt the attraction they needed and so holding hands would have felt odd.

Every couple and every person is of course different.

I remember one couple were having problems in this area and I asked the husband how he would describe his wife.

He said she was like a strong Ox. For him she was his rock.

The moment those words left his mouth she was in tears, that was not how she wanted to be seen at all.

She wanted him to be the strong Ox.

You must know your attraction dynamic or you’ll end up in a loss of attraction energy.

My last point is couples everywhere are losing this energy and they don’t know why and it can be at the root of a lot of upset.

Please follow and like us:
fb-share-icon
Tweet

Category iconDestructive Patterns,  Loss of Love,  Loss of passion,  Marriage Coaching

"Follow simple yet powerful steps designed to save and reignite a marriage fast no matter what has happened"

Click to Claim Your FREE Consultation Now!

Recent Posts

  • The Blame Game Trap!
  • “The Relationship Mirror Problem”
  • The Success Path for Failing Marriages
  • Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown
  • “Free your partner before they free themselves”
  • She keeps saying NO!
  • Hidden Dangers: The Problems People Don’t See Coming…
  • “I need to leave my marriage!”
  • “Marriage on the Brink: Mistakes That Push Love Away!”
  • Why don’t we know this? She said through her tears…
  • “He created the wife he didn’t want!”
  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3
  • The Divorce Path – Divorce Prevention Part 2
  • Mistakes that lead couples to Divorce – Part 1
  • Can’t live with you. Can’t live without you!

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Discussion
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Lost Attraction
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Stuck
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

 

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1200 FREE Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • The Blame Game Trap!
  • “The Relationship Mirror Problem”
  • The Success Path for Failing Marriages
  • Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown
  • “Free your partner before they free themselves”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2023 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top