In todays post I’m going to give you a skill that’s critical if you want your relationship to work. These days becoming a couple for life is becoming more of a challenge.
Couples are giving up far too early, if they explored the truth in their relationship a significant percentage would learn their relationship could actually be not just saved, but converted into an amazing place of security, love, passion and fun.
Difficult to imagine if you are having a tough time, but it’s possible because I see this change happen right before my eyes as the couple learn how to reconnect.
Couples at the start of their relationships are both doing exactly what works for that couple to have a “success dynamic”. They feel good about themselves when they are with their partner and this is the reason why they are together and can see a wonderful future.
What then happens is couples over time stop doing what actually works and the relationship starts to suffer.
The challenge is the couple when they first meet are doing so many things and they are not consciously aware of what is really working. In the moment they don’t care, they feel good, so why should they question it.
So they are now living together and they have stopped doing what worked, the relationship is heading for problems, but initially it’s not obvious that it needs the attention that worked when they first met.
As the couple notice that something is wrong, they focus on how it used to be and now they see a very clear gap that worries them.
They may have lost their, connection, their love, their passion, their joy of just being together and as a result the future is not looking good.
This creates fear and so the person moves to protect themselves without knowing the true cost of this action to themselves and their relationship.
If one person does this the other is likely to follow.
The result is both people end up protecting themselves from emotional harm, but they will do this differently. This process creates a focus on “me” for both people.
“ME” focused relationships always die and so whatever it takes this will have to change for the couple to survive.
The skill that will always win the day every day is the skill of putting your partner first.
I spend much of my time with couples explaining why this is so important and how to do it so it actually works for your relationship.
Whether you come for just one session to learn just this skill, or you come for a full program to learn all the skills you need to be secure starting your journey is going to be critical.