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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Is it Possible to be Addicted to Our Emotions?

Could we really be addicted to our emotions good and bad? Is it possible to be addicted to feelings that help us feel awful? Could we be behaving in a way that affects the quality of our life through an addiction we are unaware of? Could emotional responses like running away from problems actually give a person what they need at a chemical level with their body and that’s why they do it?

Feeling out of control?

Then this might interest you…

As we go through life we are constantly building a map or network of experiences as we learn about our outside world.

The brain is made up of tiny nerve cells called neurons these neurons reach out and connect to other neurons to form a neuro-network.

Our ideas, thoughts and feelings are built through the linking and associations of multiple networks of our experiences. All of these networks have a relationship with each other.

These networks help us to experience our world through learning. So for some love could connect to wonderful experiences and for others it could connect with painful feeling such as, guilt, loss, anger etc. Loss for example connected from love could be from a painful relationship break up.  This connection could connect the thoughts of loving someone new, back to loss, more pain and connect back to love again.

This person could be in fear of loving someone again.

What you experience day-to-day will be driven by how your neuro-nets have been created through your own personal life experiences.

To make sense of all this we have to tell ourselves a story of what the outside world is about and this forms our conscious experience. Anything we experience is always filtered by what we have experienced historically.

If we consistently fire the same nerve cells together they wire themselves together to form our experience. What this means is if you practice something enough you will create and give reason for that neuro-net to exist within you.

This will happen for all experiences from practicing to playing the piano to suffering from emotional pain. Whatever you do and practice every day will strengthen the longer-term relationship you will have with that experience (neuro-net).

So feelings such as anger and frustration practiced enough will build a longer term network with all the connecting cells which then form the identity of that person.

If a person interrupts a consistent behaviour for long enough, that network will stop firing,  the emotional connection will slowly die and stops being automatic.

Emotional responses to the world are effectively chemical reactions in the mind.

The neuro-net of experience will affect the make-up of the chemicals the mind releases into the entire body.

The way we have built our neuro-net (without knowing) will release these chemicals into our body (automatically). There will be different chemicals for anger and for sadness in fact each and every emotion we have is made up of differing chemical formulas.

So these chemicals are impacting the whole body experience of an event.

To cope with these powerful chemicals most people are living in their days today as if they were yesterdays. So their experience is always slightly detached as they stand on guard to protect their emotions.

People that have the same consistent emotional responses to their world, emotional responses that they can’t control, have without knowing created an addiction to those chemicals that make up that experience from their neuro-net.

The chemical addiction to what the body creates is very powerful and so people will fight to protect their emotional responses. Heroin which we know is dangerously addictive uses the same receptor mechanisms on our cells as our emotional chemicals. So it’s not difficult to understand how easy it would be to be addicted to our own chemical responses.

A person maybe addicted to depression because of the mix of chemicals it creates. For example some people may only experience love when they are depressed because it’s the only time they feel looked after.

Others maybe addicted to anger because they feel it’s the best way to create growth because people respond fast to them.

The associations people make in their world is unique to them. My question is now you have a little more understanding of what is happening within you what is possible for you?

What could your life and relationship be like if you took control of what happened within you?

  • What would you choose to have more of?
  • What would you choose to have less of?

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
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Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

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Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

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To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

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Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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