Could we really be addicted to our emotions good and bad? Is it possible to be addicted to feelings that help us feel awful? Could we be behaving in a way that affects the quality of our life through an addiction we are unaware of? Could emotional responses like running away from problems actually give a person what they need at a chemical level with their body and that’s why they do it?
Feeling out of control?
Then this might interest you…
As we go through life we are constantly building a map or network of experiences as we learn about our outside world.
The brain is made up of tiny nerve cells called neurons these neurons reach out and connect to other neurons to form a neuro-network.
Our ideas, thoughts and feelings are built through the linking and associations of multiple networks of our experiences. All of these networks have a relationship with each other.
These networks help us to experience our world through learning. So for some love could connect to wonderful experiences and for others it could connect with painful feeling such as, guilt, loss, anger etc. Loss for example connected from love could be from a painful relationship break up. This connection could connect the thoughts of loving someone new, back to loss, more pain and connect back to love again.
This person could be in fear of loving someone again.
What you experience day-to-day will be driven by how your neuro-nets have been created through your own personal life experiences.
To make sense of all this we have to tell ourselves a story of what the outside world is about and this forms our conscious experience. Anything we experience is always filtered by what we have experienced historically.
If we consistently fire the same nerve cells together they wire themselves together to form our experience. What this means is if you practice something enough you will create and give reason for that neuro-net to exist within you.
This will happen for all experiences from practicing to playing the piano to suffering from emotional pain. Whatever you do and practice every day will strengthen the longer-term relationship you will have with that experience (neuro-net).
So feelings such as anger and frustration practiced enough will build a longer term network with all the connecting cells which then form the identity of that person.
If a person interrupts a consistent behaviour for long enough, that network will stop firing, the emotional connection will slowly die and stops being automatic.
Emotional responses to the world are effectively chemical reactions in the mind.
The neuro-net of experience will affect the make-up of the chemicals the mind releases into the entire body.
The way we have built our neuro-net (without knowing) will release these chemicals into our body (automatically). There will be different chemicals for anger and for sadness in fact each and every emotion we have is made up of differing chemical formulas.
So these chemicals are impacting the whole body experience of an event.
To cope with these powerful chemicals most people are living in their days today as if they were yesterdays. So their experience is always slightly detached as they stand on guard to protect their emotions.
People that have the same consistent emotional responses to their world, emotional responses that they can’t control, have without knowing created an addiction to those chemicals that make up that experience from their neuro-net.
The chemical addiction to what the body creates is very powerful and so people will fight to protect their emotional responses. Heroin which we know is dangerously addictive uses the same receptor mechanisms on our cells as our emotional chemicals. So it’s not difficult to understand how easy it would be to be addicted to our own chemical responses.
A person maybe addicted to depression because of the mix of chemicals it creates. For example some people may only experience love when they are depressed because it’s the only time they feel looked after.
Others maybe addicted to anger because they feel it’s the best way to create growth because people respond fast to them.
The associations people make in their world is unique to them. My question is now you have a little more understanding of what is happening within you what is possible for you?
What could your life and relationship be like if you took control of what happened within you?
- What would you choose to have more of?
- What would you choose to have less of?
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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