Couples in trouble usually end up with more words that are unspoken in the relationship than spoken. This lack of honesty about each others true feelings causes problems. Of course the reason they don’t speak is because they have stopped seeing the point, or don’t see it as the solution.
So now they can only be honest to friends, family, children and this hurts the relationship and so resentment starts to grow.
Honesty is a powerful word sometimes linked to trust. Most of us would agree that we want honesty in our relationships. It is a key factor in building successful relationships.
When honesty and trust are mentioned many people go to thoughts of affairs, or not being able to trust your partner with members of the opposite sex.
Whilst this is true the words trust and honesty are much broader in meaning and power.
For example: I discover in sessions that many women are not communicating the truth of how they feel to their partner through fear of their partner leaving them. This is one of many combinations couples experience.
This lack of honesty will create a conflict within them and so they change how they behave without knowing. They become unhappy due to this conflict and as a result they pull away to protect themselves and their partner feels it.
Bit-by-bit the relationship is dying.
So the person in this place feels they cannot trust their partner to stay with them or look after them and they also cannot trust themselves to be honest about how they feel.
Honesty and trust in all forms are critical. You need to be in a situation where you can be you and your partners’ mission is to help you develop and become the person you want to be in the life you want to live.
Of course that has to your mission too, but without the honest circulation of trust and honesty the relationship cannot and will not grow and so if it’s not growing it’s dying.
Is that what you want? If not then communicate, if you can’t communicate then you need help before if gets worse.