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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Marriages out of control

I once had a mentor who said “whatever you want in this world find someone who has what you want and find out what they did to get it”. Another mentor said “…you could also learn from those that have failed. Learn what they have done and avoid doing that”.

So here is what I see couples doing that I strongly suggest you avoid doing.

Couples who are in trouble struggle to communicate, and they are focused on trying to be right losing sight of what they are really trying to achieve.

They actively look for problems in the marriage, picking on each others weaknesses, doing all they can to make sure they block attempts to become close.

They enjoy spending time apart because this is where they feel better. Friends, work, hobbies, family anything they can find that means they don’t have to spend time together. They don’t communicate that their needs are better met outside the relationship, but they know they are really.

The also try to control each other, manipulate situations, actions, some are outwardly aggressively and some passively.

They usually brush any emotional problems under the carpet hoping they will go away.

Their intimacy has usually been dead for a while, they blame each other for this.

They see very little pleasure in spending time together, any time they do spend has little emotional value and is usually functional.

They side with external family members ignoring their partner feelings.

They have never built a plan of how their finances are going to be used to build a future together, in fact they don’t have a plan for their future.

They have lived together for years yet don’t really know how to meet each others needs and now they can’t be bothered to meet their partners unless there is something in it for them.

They use punishment as a means to correct their partner behaviors.

They judge and criticise their partners behaviors.

They don’t put their partner first and are self focused.

They believe that relationships should just work and if it doesn’t they are incompatible.

They believe that changes are impossible because they have tried all they can to fix the marriage.

They also seem to have little empathy for their partners emotions.

These are just a fraction of the many problem behaviors that present themselves to me every day.

At the end of the day please be clear on your goal. If you want your relationship to survive find growth orientated ways to connect with each other.

If you don’t know how to do that please don’t repeat destruction because you’re out of ideas. Become resourceful and creative, find the answers. Become curious about what you don’t know.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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