To set the scene: This lady was so attached to the life she though she was going to live, she had been putting up with terribly unkind and destructive behaviours from her husband.
Desperate to get the life she wanted back on track she came to me for help. She wanted me to fix her marriage and help her husband regain his sanity – They had a new born and her husband had just decided to move out of the family home, she had no idea why.
What she didn’t know was her husband was actually having an affair. He had kept it a secret from her and from me through the sessions which essentially gave his wife no hope as he was secretly emotionally invested elsewhere.
A few months later this lady called me again for help.
She explained that despite her husbands awful behaviour and now his affair she didn’t know how to let her husband go emotionally. Despite knowing he was with his affair partner she still wanted him back and was planning how to achieve this, but this time she knew these thoughts were destructive to her.
When she entered the session I could see she had lost far too much weight and she looked totally exhausted.
She requested a process to emotionally disconnect from him. I explained that within 4 sessions through my Personal Breakthrough Program we should be able to achieve what she needed.
What we discovered in those sessions was a combination of critical needs being met destructively through her beliefs and deep seated values and rules which were all designed for good, but were actually trapping her in this awful mindset.
Once she understood how her mind was working and what it was really trying to achieve she was able to connect with her true self which created an inner peace and a fresh way to see her life.
She wanted to help other women in a similar situations by sharing her experience and her journey from being trapped to finally being free to be her true self.
These are her words…
I found Stephen’s website late one night after a couple of hours of searching online for someone or something to help me. My 3 week old baby was in bed bedside me and my two year old son was asleep in his bedroom. My husband had moved into a rented flat down the road two weeks before our baby was born saying that he felt unhappy but he didn’t know why and I felt as though my whole world had fallen apart. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I cried all the time and I wanted my husband back at any price.
I was convinced that Stephen could help us. I read every inch of his website. The descriptions of other couples and their relationship problems were very similar to ours. I convinced myself that if I could only persuade my husband to come with me to see Stephen then our marriage and my family would be saved.
I threw myself into Stephen’s 12 week program. Everything he said to us made complete sense and at the beginning I was very optimistic – I could see a way through for us. Half way through the program it was clear to me that it wasn’t working but I didn’t understand why.
I know now that my husband was having an affair throughout our marriage counselling. He turned up to our sessions but his heart wasn’t in it.
He asked me for a divorce.
We had already signed up for the 12 week program and so, strange as it seems, I continued going to see Stephen by myself. I was at home with a 3 month old baby, dealing with hormones, sleep deprivation, breast feeding, a potty training two year old and trying to secure a big promotion at work. My husband and best friend of 15 years had gone mad and I hoped that Stephen could help me understand what on earth had happened to me.
He did that but more importantly he helped me understand myself.
My baby has his first birthday in a couple of weeks’ time. This has been, without doubt, the hardest and darkest year of my whole life.
Stephen helped me to see my husband for what he really is, to begin to accept the reality of my situation and to deal with it. I want to be happy. To make my children happy. To be in a respectful and loving family. To behave with dignity and strength towards my (almost ex) husband and his family. To move forward with my own life.
Stephen has helped me to do all of this.
I used the rest of the sessions from our 12 week program and after a few months I came back to do the 4 week personal breakthrough program.
The results from that have been remarkable. I feel like a whole person again.
Once this lady had reconnected with herself her perspective and feelings had totally changed about her history with her husband and the future she could now fully embrace.