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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“My partner says they don’t love me anymore – what do I do?”

If your partner is telling you their love for you has died, there are a few very powerful things you should and shouldn’t do if your goal is to get them back into the marriage.

Loss of love doesn’t happen over night and can be a total mystery to their partner which leaves them feeling lost and powerless.

The things you should do, most people don’t do….

…and the things they shouldn’t do, they almost always do.

So the first thing you must NOT do is PANIC!

Loss of love is something the person has created within them, so it means it’s not permanent and can be undone with the right approach.

Look at this example: Many couples come to me after they have divorced totally confused. They want to understand why they fell out of love, divorced each other regretted the divorce and are now together back in love again, but now fearful this trauma will happen again.

If you are a regular reader then you will know that, I agree that there are couples that shouldn’t be together, but leaving a relationship/family without really understanding what’s happened has many hidden problems which can show up in future relationships.

The goal: If you want to get your partner back into the relationship you have to help them feel great about themselves when you are in their mind.

Can you now see the challenge you face.

Your panic/anger/fear will not create that, what those emotions will create in them is either contempt, feeling sorry for you, feeling guilty, or simply anger at your selfishness.

None of these emotions will bring them back in. In fact it will just help them solidify their decision to leave.

So what are the MUST NOTS if you want them back.

  • Don’t make their pain about you.
  • Don’t cycle through emotions such as frustration, anger, sadness it will just help them to see you as erratic.
  • Don’t tell them they have a great relationship, that’s not their experience and will create even more distance.
  • Don’t say, “….you know I love you”. Your love for them is not the issue, it’s their loss of love for you that their real problem.
  • Husbands: Don’t suddenly become house husband of the year. When a woman is looking for a real man to be a life long lover and best friend. Packing the dish washer was not on her list of needs.
  • Wives: Don’t test him to see if he loves you, he won’t understand the test and all he will feel is better he is getting out.
  • Don’t ever put pressure on them for answer. Any pressure they don’t like can send them into the wrong decision.
  • Don’t become needy

What are the MUSTS

  • Get on the same page as them as fast as possible. Once they feel understood by you then their guard can come down and there is then potential for learning and growth.
  • Give your partner space to breathe and think, despite what they say to you there is a part of them that is questioning such a big decision.
  • Time is not on your side so get help as fast as possible there is going to be a window that is where they are either confused, or unsure about what they are thinking or about to do.
  • If they won’t come for help, go on your own.

Loss of love explained

Loss of love is a feeling that’s created as a result of needing to protect oneself from their partner, understanding what that protection has been about is key to your success which is why it’s so important to seek help.

One couple had been in therapy for 4 months before they came to me for a second opinion. They felt although the therapy/counselling was painful/helpful in talking about their problems, but they had stopped making progress.

They felt they needed a different approach, an educational process that offered advice, steps and new direction.

They learnt…

Out of the many things they learnt with me I helped them to understand and learn about the energy they had lost and how it not only had stopped their attraction, but had slowly starved their relationship.

Through this I helped them understand their love was not dead, just dormant waiting to be reignited.

This was the root of their problem, they needed to feel alive again, excited about their connection and their future of being a team together.

At a Glance: Relationship Building Programs available to you with Stephen Hedger

  • If you are in marital crisis you may need a tailor made 12 week Marriage Breakthrough Program.
  • If you NOT in crisis, but going round in circles then you may need a 6 week Relationship Repair Program.
  • If your in personal crisis then you may need a 4, 8 or 12 week Personal Breakthrough Program.

If your interested in any of Stephen’s programs either

Book an initial consultation so Stephen can assess what you need click here, or call to discover more information.

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"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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