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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“OMG we should have seen this coming years ago”

This is a common statement I hear from couples who are on the edge of divorce who have my words that describe the reason for their disconnect ringing in their ears.

Many create conclusions for their disconnect and are way off the mark. You see natural patterns help us see a marital crisis in ways that make it unsolvable BUT…

When a coupe in crisis are helped to understand the reason for their disconnect and what has to change, in many it helps them see a new way forward, one they could never have imagined no matter how bright they are.

You see helping couples out of a crisis isn’t about fixing them it’s about giving them the tools so they can discover for themselves if they can with the right knowledge create a connection they would both enjoy again.

So many are shocked at what they didn’t know. The knowledge they can now see was critical for them to stay together for life.

You see so many couples are unaware they are heading for natural disconnection, and they ignore all the red flags that tell them trouble is on the way.

The problem is, it’s what you don’t know is likely to hurt us the most.

When a couple first meet and are having fun, who wants to look for what can go wrong? So they don’t look or even know they should.

So I’m flagging as clearly as I can I have never met a couple that naturally understands what will help them connect and protect their relationship for life.

This is why so many people get divorced remarry and end up failing all over again; they simply do not see why the relationships keep failing.

I wasn’t born with what I now see as a critical life skill.

I too had to learn this as I was historically making the same mistakes I see couples make when they come to see me today.

What I have come to learn through spending so much of my life with couples in crisis is the natural disconnect men and women experience the more time they spend together.

It’s important to know this disconnect is totally normal, but it needs to be understood and corrected before they damage their connection so badly they cannot retrieve it.

So many couples are confused by each others words and actions with devastating consequences.

To start with the couples initial attraction, fun and adventure align them with feelings that they can both enjoy.

It won’t be long before confusing behaviour starts, and at least one person starts to create distorted meanings to their partners’ behaviours.

These meanings then distort how they behave in the relationship and the ping-pong of destruction starts, for many it’s masked by busy lives, careers, kids ETC until one person wakes up or is woken up by another.

For many, relationships are places where they want to avoid being vulnerable.

So imagine just one example of the many possible disconnecting moments, being in love with someone and out of the blue they become upset/unreasonable with you, and you have no idea why or how to make it better.

Couples are often shocked and confused at how their partner behaves because they would never behave that way – that behaviour doesn’t equal love, respect and support in their mind.

Confusion, when so much is at stake in a relationship, can create a loss of trust and so their partners’ integrity comes in to question.

Couples that keep becoming confused by their partners’ behaviours will naturally create disconnect because when confusion strikes, it affects the trust you are being loved.

They may be thinking “…someone that loved me would never treat me this way…”

Loss of trust creates a need to self-protect and self-protection can lead to a loss of love.

If couples want to be successful together, they need to understand their partner is fundamentally like a different species to them.

They don’t think the same, they don’t have the same emotional drivers, needs or expectations, and they are totally unaware their partner thinks differently to them.

So the moment one person try’s to judge their partners’ behaviours, that judgement is instantly incorrect.

So just because you speak the same language, it doesn’t mean you know how to translate your partner words and actions.

The skill of truly understanding each other then creates the skill of how to become of significant value to each other.

People that don’t know how to create an effective connection will have to resort to negative controlling behaviours.

If this is in your relationship, please know there is a better way.

Understanding and knowledge is the key to a successful life with an intimate partner.

I spoke will a client this week who had been through this program of knowledge with me and in his words, “this new understanding is Life Changing.”

 

 

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Marriage at Risk from Destructive Triggers”
  • “The Root Cause Revolution”
  • “Top 1% Marriages do Something Different…”
  • “I had to stop her – she was killing the marriage she wanted to keep!”
  • “The Biggest Relationship Red Flag”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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