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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Relationship Advice For Men

One of the ways to become an amazing partner for her is to understand your partner from her perspective. Too many men only see their world from their own perspective and when he does this she knows he doesn’t understand her.

  • This for her is a significant source of pain and the basis of real problems in relationships today.

When pain strikes many women initially fight and battle with their partner. He sees this battle with her as negative because the fight is proof of something bad for him.

He can see that maybe she’s impossible to please or he is failing her. So he fights her back or tries to make her wrong because he is looking at the battle from his own perspective and not hers, his focus is on winning, or trying to proving he is right, that way she will see she is wrong and so the argument will stop!

So he shuts down, defends, argues back or escapes in some way.

What she will actually see and feel is he is too focused on making her wrong and him right. So at her point of pain what’s most important to him is not her, it’s him and what he needs. This becomes a sign of weakness in him to her and so he’s now less attractive to her.

In her mind she will feel that if he can’t be the man for her, then she will have to. “If he won’t step up when it counts then I will.” This is what kills sexual connection!

Key advice for men

If she is battling with you, it’s not because she doesn’t love you, it’s because she does. A battle for her is there because she needs a level of intensity and attention from him, because that equals love to her.

That intensity within her is her drive for a sensual energy to be back in the relationship, so  when she’s in pain all she really wants is to be loved.

A man will look at her fighting as a time to fight back, but she is not fighting him she is fighting for her relationship, for love, for passion to know she matters to him. She is fighting to become the woman in the relationship so she can see him as the man. She wants to connect with him because she wants to feels he is the strong protector always there for her no matter what!

  • This for her is very sexually attractive.

What she wants to know is she can cause problems, mess up and no matter what, he will still love her and not make her pain about him. When she tests him and he passes her test through loving her through her pain, she knows that he has understood how she feels and this is critical for her.

Men don’t test the relationship in this way, men usually want a quiet life and are focused on making big problems smaller, frustrated that their partners seem to want to make the smallest problem far bigger than they need to be.

See her world from his perspective and he will fail himself, her and the relationship. He doesn’t want this and neither does she.

  • Become aware and learn about her it’s critical.

If she becomes upset be there for her without judgement and learn about her pain. In that moment help her to feel that she is the most important person in the world to you.

Note: I know some of you may be reading this and are thinking this is the other way round for us. It is possible for relationships to work where the male is very feminine and the female is very masculine in the way they work. The question is this. Is this where you both like to be or has constant conflict/problems taken you to this place?

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

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Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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