Do you ever feel that you can’t get through to your partner? Do you feel that what you are saying is landing on deaf ears? Do you feel that your partner is trying to be difficult on purpose?
If someone felt all those things what do you think they might feel and what meaning would they then put to those thoughts?
It could be loss of love, feeling they aren’t enough, rejection and many more.
So it’s not difficult to see that this could put a person in a poor state emotionally in fear that their relationship is in trouble especially if they experience those feelings over years.
They may start to feel that the relationship is wrong for them and they start to create a story that maybe they were always wrong for each other.
They then start to make their memories fit that story with thoughts such as incompatibility, never really found them attractive, using words like “I love you but I’m not in love with you…”
Does this resonate for you?
What happens next is if all this starts to make sense then the person can over time detach from the relationship believing their own story.
They are trusting what they feel and what they feel equals pain, so they have a natural desire to move away from that pain so initially they will numb themselves so they can stay and cope. But long term they detach and lose feelings for their partner.
I have heard this story many times…
So the question is can a relationship be reignited if it this has happened.
The simple answer is of course.
You see understanding plays a significant part in helping the couple to reconnect.
Men and women communicate very differently and so misunderstandings are very common. These misunderstandings can be misinterpreted as a desire to harm, or a lack of thought or empathy.
The simple answer is the couple lost trust in each others ability to create a future which was the one they both wanted. Effectively their future together disappeared.
The loss of trust slowly affected their desire to meet each others needs and so they both ended up focused on themselves and what they are not getting.
Soon as the couple does this the growth dies and so does the relationship.
The solution is to reverse this behavior so the couple can experience the relationship in a way that rebuilds all they have lost.