Yesterday we looked at how anyone can reignite the passion in their relationship and can give themselves permission to drop the accepted assumption that Relationships + Time automatically equals a loss of passion.
- What we are getting to now is honesty in your relationship.
- I have a question for you, is “honesty” important to you? I expect the answer is yes.
- When is honesty important? Is it some of the time or all of the time? I expect you’ll want honesty all of the time.
Many couples I work with, and I see a lot every year all have one thing in common, they are not honest with each other and more importantly they are not honest with themselves.
They are not honest because they fear the result of their honesty. So they contradict what they believe in to keep the peace or to re balance their world to be OK again. This never ever feels good, plus their partner by default is learning that what they are doing is OK.
The result is resentment in the partner that fails to speak up, and then confusion in their partner who can’t understand why this is suddenly a problem.
Yet again a fear is driving someone to behave in ways that ultimately will hurt themselves.
One of the biggest pieces of advice I would like you to have is if you hold onto a fear and you constantly focus on it, you will create the very thing you fear.
As we have discovered when we start to fear, the passion goes and so this adds more worry, pressure and fear that the relationship is wrong, or you are not enough for the relationship.
- I have another question for you, would you really respect your partner for holding back the truth in your relationship just to keep the peace?
This is a total passion killer, and even though you may not know what they are holding back, you feel that something is not quite right, this triggers worry and that worry can lead to a lack of respect.
Lack of respect leads to resentment and this can be so destructive to any relationship.
Passion and long lasting relationships are born out of honesty in every area of your relationship from money to sex, to parenting and everything else…
Also please remember that your honesty may discover that what you have been thinking for years has been wrong, an assumption driven by your fears, and your partner has always had your best interest at heart.
So don’t assume your partner is there to hurt you, be honest find out the truth about your relationship and live life with passion.
- Look forward to speaking to you in part Six please post any questions or comments below.
