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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Repatterning couples to succeed

Are you patterned for success or failure in your marriage?

You know you are patterned for a successful marriage when you both can influence a positive shift of any destructive emotional state.

For example, if one person is unhappy and the other is able to shift their emotions to one they would value they are patterned correctly.

This shift could be towards inner peace, laughter, security, reassurance, feeling loved, cared for, to name a few.

Couples that make it will hear their partners needs and will care about them. Couples that don’t make it will not be interested in their partner needs.

Patterns are formed through months and years of repetition so they create behaviors without thought.

It’s like the pattern of learning to drive a car, to start with it takes a lot of conscious effort in the end driving happens without thought.

Most people are living with reactively driven patterns they have not designed.

Some are in patterns their past designed, others are in patterns handed down from lost and fearful parents.

Many grown-up children are horrified because they adopted their parents’ patterns without knowing and turned into their parents later in life.

Time for a change

We are looking to help couples to understand why the patterns they currently are in is making their marriage worse.

The key is to help the person(s) stop their outdated reactive patterns and guide them towards new constructive patterns.

One of the ways to change a pattern is by making the change the person’s choice through an in-depth understanding of their relationship and their partners’ world.

People must learn that their partners thinking patterns are completely different from their own.

This is why trying to understand your partners’ words using your own mind will never take you to an answer that would help.

Remember the old saying: The thinking that created the problem is not the thinking needed to solve it.

The thinking has to change

What new understanding creates is choices that were before hidden.

So let say a wife is upset and has brought words the husband would call negative or critical.

By helping the husband understand her true intent and the reason she is communicating this way gives him the space to develop choices of reaction.

To be a positive influencer his rules are simple.

He must add value to her and he must not deviate from his own values.

This simple formula for success is what makes the difference, but most will have no idea how to achieve this.

Most men that are criticised will be instantly patterned to self-protection, counterattack, attempts at logic, and escape.

This is normal behaviour, but it isn’t helpful.

But by understanding a new way to hear what is happening for her and what she is trying to achieve he can respond in a way that supports everything that is important to him so it doesn’t disconnect him from his own integrity.

Developing choice through understanding brings new intelligence to their relationship.

Both people are 100% responsible for protecting the marriage so each person has a choice am I here to break it or mend it?

Break it or Mend it!?

Relationships are a constant flow of changing energy and so when two people enter conflict they both have a choice to break it and make the problem worse, or mend it.

If attempts to make it better always make it worse then please know there is information you are missing so your approach needs to change.

Helping couples learn how to create the space in their minds to choose how they will mend their connection means they have understood these critical skills.

  • How to see their world through their partner eyes
  • How to trigger their partner to feelings they would like
  • How to stay connected to your own values in the process

If a couple can do those three actions with

  • Day-today connection
  • When conflict strikes
  • When developing sexual attraction
  • Through playing together
  • Planning their purpose

Their newly patterned connection now makes sense for a safer future.

The key foundation in a repatterining process is mindset.

  • Invest 100% it’s not a 50/50 deal it’s a 100/100 deal
  • Care about your partner’s perspective without judgment or blame
  • Never make the relationship about you
  • Always see who they really are, seeing the bad only isn’t intelligent, fair or true
  • Act with integrity by honoring what you say is an important code to live by
  • Embrace the truth don’t fear it. It will create vulnerability, but that’s why only people with courage have successful relationships.
  • Never make your partner wrong
  • Know your partner is not like you so your thinking will not help you to understand theirs

  • About
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other - June 19, 2025
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE” - June 17, 2025
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem? - June 13, 2025

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"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

ANDY - CEO & FOUNDER

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands
  • What to Do When Your Marriage Is Failing — Real Answers That Work
  • Betrayed by an Affair: How to Survive Infidelity and Rebuild Your Marriage
  • Husbands May Only Become What She Believes Him to Be – Mini Post
  • “I feel nothing… and he’s no idea why!” – MiniPost
  • 7 Steps For a Successful Marriage Repair Process
  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?

Over 1300 Relationship Articles



Categories

  • A thought for Sunday (29)
  • Case Studies (2)
  • Communication (70)
  • Destructive Patterns (137)
  • Discussion (2)
  • Infidelity-Affairs (42)
  • Loss of Love (43)
  • Loss of passion (35)
  • Lost Attraction (22)
  • Marriage Coaching (435)
  • Marriage Mastery Assessment (1)
  • Masculine & Feminine (10)
  • Mini Posts (3)
  • Monday Breakthrough (2)
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  • Rebuilding trust (39)
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  • Retirement Crisis (6)
  • Save Marriage Alone (42)
  • Separation & Divorce (9)
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts (54)
  • Stuck (9)
  • Testimonials (59)
  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (761)

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
United Kingdom



Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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