• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Home
  • Private Coaching
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
    • Couples Coaching
    • Individual Coaching
    • FAQs
  • About
  • Success
  • Initial Consultation
  • Blog

Repatterning couples to succeed

Are you patterned for success or failure in your marriage?

You know you are patterned for a successful marriage when you both can influence a positive shift of any destructive emotional state.

For example, if one person is unhappy and the other is able to shift their emotions to one they would value they are patterned correctly.

This shift could be towards inner peace, laughter, security, reassurance, feeling loved, cared for, to name a few.

Couples that make it will hear their partners needs and will care about them. Couples that don’t make it will not be interested in their partner needs.

Patterns are formed through months and years of repetition so they create behaviors without thought.

It’s like the pattern of learning to drive a car, to start with it takes a lot of conscious effort in the end driving happens without thought.

Most people are living with reactively driven patterns they have not designed.

Some are in patterns their past designed, others are in patterns handed down from lost and fearful parents.

Many grown-up children are horrified because they adopted their parents’ patterns without knowing and turned into their parents later in life.

Time for a change

We are looking to help couples to understand why the patterns they currently are in is making their marriage worse.

The key is to help the person(s) stop their outdated reactive patterns and guide them towards new constructive patterns.

One of the ways to change a pattern is by making the change the person’s choice through an in-depth understanding of their relationship and their partners’ world.

People must learn that their partners thinking patterns are completely different from their own.

This is why trying to understand your partners’ words using your own mind will never take you to an answer that would help.

Remember the old saying: The thinking that created the problem is not the thinking needed to solve it.

The thinking has to change

What new understanding creates is choices that were before hidden.

So let say a wife is upset and has brought words the husband would call negative or critical.

By helping the husband understand her true intent and the reason she is communicating this way gives him the space to develop choices of reaction.

To be a positive influencer his rules are simple.

He must add value to her and he must not deviate from his own values.

This simple formula for success is what makes the difference, but most will have no idea how to achieve this.

Most men that are criticised will be instantly patterned to self-protection, counterattack, attempts at logic, and escape.

This is normal behaviour, but it isn’t helpful.

But by understanding a new way to hear what is happening for her and what she is trying to achieve he can respond in a way that supports everything that is important to him so it doesn’t disconnect him from his own integrity.

Developing choice through understanding brings new intelligence to their relationship.

Both people are 100% responsible for protecting the marriage so each person has a choice am I here to break it or mend it?

Break it or Mend it!?

Relationships are a constant flow of changing energy and so when two people enter conflict they both have a choice to break it and make the problem worse, or mend it.

If attempts to make it better always make it worse then please know there is information you are missing so your approach needs to change.

Helping couples learn how to create the space in their minds to choose how they will mend their connection means they have understood these critical skills.

  • How to see their world through their partner eyes
  • How to trigger their partner to feelings they would like
  • How to stay connected to your own values in the process

If a couple can do those three actions with

  • Day-today connection
  • When conflict strikes
  • When developing sexual attraction
  • Through playing together
  • Planning their purpose

Their newly patterned connection now makes sense for a safer future.

The key foundation in a repatterining process is mindset.

  • Invest 100% it’s not a 50/50 deal it’s a 100/100 deal
  • Care about your partner’s perspective without judgment or blame
  • Never make the relationship about you
  • Always see who they really are, seeing the bad only isn’t intelligent, fair or true
  • Act with integrity by honoring what you say is an important code to live by
  • Embrace the truth don’t fear it. It will create vulnerability, but that’s why only people with courage have successful relationships.
  • Never make your partner wrong
  • Know your partner is not like you so your thinking will not help you to understand theirs

Category iconMarriage Coaching

"FREE Call with Harley Street Marriage in Crisis Expert Stephen Hedger"

"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

Get Started Now!

Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

 

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Free Blog Subscription

Join over 30,000 subscribers who have looked for insights into intimate relationships why they work and why they don't. Weekly posts join now.....

Popular Posts

  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2022 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top