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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Do You Self Sabotage? Let’s find out…

Why is it so many of us get into such a muddle with our lives and our relationships? The reason is, because we can self sabotage our own lives without knowing.

  • Of course there are many reason how and why we do this, but one action does stand out to cause all sorts of problems.

If you are having a bad time at the moment you may discover that you spend along time focused inwardly on your thoughts and your feelings. You focus on what’s wrong, you focus on your problems, or your feelings, or what others may be doing, or not doing that could hurt you.

You may even find you have a nagging, or aggressive voice in your head constantly working on you. Again this is more internal focus.

You may even be looking for all the ways in which your life is not the way it should be. So when you see the difference between where you are today and where you think you should be, you start to not trust your decisions. Now you can’t trust you!

  • How about if you walk past a group of people and they all start laughing. Where does your focus go, is it to what’s wrong with you (internal focus), or is on how great it is to hear people having fun (external focus).
  • How about if you ever have to speak in public, is your focus on what could go wrong (internal focus) or on making sure that those you are talking to is engaged with your words (external focus).
  • If you have ever experienced blushing one of the best ways to make yourself go as red as you can, is to focus on the fact you are going red.

Your mind will give you what you are looking for

If you spend a lot of time focused inwardly on yourself your mind has no choice but to give you what you start to look for. So if you are on a search for how to not trust your partner, then it’s very easy to find many ways.

If you look for ways in which you may not be good enough for your partner, your mind will obey and give you buckets of reasons why you are not good enough.

We are all conditioned to look for what’s wrong, we even connect with others on this level. Tell someone your problems and people will sympathise and listen to you, tell them your life is amazing and you’ll be labelled a big headed or arrogant and people will move away from you.

What’s wrong is easy to find, the challenge is to change this destructive pattern and look for what’s great in your life so your focus starts to go outside of you. What you will discover is if you practice this every day you will find so many things to be grateful for in your life.

When you do this you will start to notice your life starting to change, because you’ll start to make good decisions and you start to grow again. This is because the state of fear you were in has shifted to a state of calm and peaceful gratitude.

  • If your not growing you are standing still or dieing and neither feels great.

Persistently take control of your focus and you’ll take control of your life.

What you focus on is a choice and you can’t focus on good things and bad things at the same time, try it, it’s impossible.

  • So if that’s true I know which one I’d choose to focus on, what do you think?

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"FREE Call with Harley Street Marriage in Crisis Expert Stephen Hedger"

"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

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Recent Posts

  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
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Recent Posts

  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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