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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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She said she no longer loved him…

Loss of love is a very common problem that shows up in my consultations. It’s a terribly difficult problem for couples and many give up not knowing the simple steps to reigniting feelings that have died. 

As you scan through my words below you will see a snap shot of how this couple were guided out of this horrible situation.

This lady turned up with her husband. She told me she had lost her feelings for her husband.

She told me without those feelings of love she didn’t believe she could carry on the relationship. They had young children and I knew those children were the reason she was sat in front of me.

Her feelings had died and to help them I needed to know why? I also knew she didn’t know the answer to that question.

There was no affair, he was hard working, he loved the children, he had a successful business. On paper they had all the ingredients for a successful life.

What she could tell me was she no longer saw her husband the way she wanted to.

As we talked I could see the dynamic they had created as a couple had helped her shut down her feelings. Neither of them were aware of this and so without knowing they had been destroying the relationship a day at a time.

As I questioned their past and how they lived together I noticed they had slipped comfortably in to behaviours that felt right in the early days, but those distorted behaviours were going to be their downfall.

She had slipped into the role of protecting the relationship, her husband and herself. In essence her past challenges had helped her to feel she was safer if she was in control.

With no effective masculine model growing up the husband had slipped into letting her take control to please her. He felt this was what she needed to be happy.

Of course it was what she felt she needed, but it was being driven by her fears, so he was now responding to her fears and keeping them alive with her.

To help this couple breakthrough they needed to create a totally new dynamic that enabled her to feel safe to let go of her need to control. His role was take a much stronger masculine position.

Essentially she had become the man in the relationship and from this position she couldn’t connect sexually with what she saw as a weak husband.

The reality I saw that her husband was not weak he had just played weak to please her.

In response to this destructive dynamic I designed a process that step-by-step would help them to get to grips with their new roles. I spent some time alone with her husband helping him to understand how to step-up and bring a powerfully protective energy to his wife.

With his wife, I helped her to understand what she had done to herself that had blocked her feelings and how her past had played a significant part in generating her need to keep a tight hold of her life so she wouldn’t be hurt.

With these new roles in play and by both taking responsibility for their past actions they took their first steps into their relationship.

Over the coming weeks as each person understood their new roles and how to get the best out of themselves and each other, a few things started to happen.

The husband started to feel much happier independently of his wife. He noticed that he had more energy, he felt empowered and alive. By playing the role he thought his wife wanted him to be, he had lost himself.

It was critical for his wife to see this happiness within him because she knew his change of behaviour was likely to last if he was happier.

For the wife she had responded well to her husbands new energy. She felt her husband was starting to understand her and what was important to her. As she felt him step-up and understand her she felt she could start to let go.

This enabled her seemingly dead feelings to start to return.

What was great for him was he could see what he was doing was now actually working.

This couple learnt not only how important it was to create the emotional connection they both needed they also learnt how to protect the relationship moving forward.

This process was not just a journey to connected with each other it was a journey to connect with themselves and how to bring their best selves to their relationship, family and life…

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

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July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Knowledge isn’t power – but it’s a start – Mini Post
  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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