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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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She said she no longer loved him…

Loss of love is a very common problem that shows up in my consultations. It’s a terribly difficult problem for couples and many give up not knowing the simple steps to reigniting feelings that have died. 

As you scan through my words below you will see a snap shot of how this couple were guided out of this horrible situation.

This lady turned up with her husband. She told me she had lost her feelings for her husband.

She told me without those feelings of love she didn’t believe she could carry on the relationship. They had young children and I knew those children were the reason she was sat in front of me.

Her feelings had died and to help them I needed to know why? I also knew she didn’t know the answer to that question.

There was no affair, he was hard working, he loved the children, he had a successful business. On paper they had all the ingredients for a successful life.

What she could tell me was she no longer saw her husband the way she wanted to.

As we talked I could see the dynamic they had created as a couple had helped her shut down her feelings. Neither of them were aware of this and so without knowing they had been destroying the relationship a day at a time.

As I questioned their past and how they lived together I noticed they had slipped comfortably in to behaviours that felt right in the early days, but those distorted behaviours were going to be their downfall.

She had slipped into the role of protecting the relationship, her husband and herself. In essence her past challenges had helped her to feel she was safer if she was in control.

With no effective masculine model growing up the husband had slipped into letting her take control to please her. He felt this was what she needed to be happy.

Of course it was what she felt she needed, but it was being driven by her fears, so he was now responding to her fears and keeping them alive with her.

To help this couple breakthrough they needed to create a totally new dynamic that enabled her to feel safe to let go of her need to control. His role was take a much stronger masculine position.

Essentially she had become the man in the relationship and from this position she couldn’t connect sexually with what she saw as a weak husband.

The reality I saw that her husband was not weak he had just played weak to please her.

In response to this destructive dynamic I designed a process that step-by-step would help them to get to grips with their new roles. I spent some time alone with her husband helping him to understand how to step-up and bring a powerfully protective energy to his wife.

With his wife, I helped her to understand what she had done to herself that had blocked her feelings and how her past had played a significant part in generating her need to keep a tight hold of her life so she wouldn’t be hurt.

With these new roles in play and by both taking responsibility for their past actions they took their first steps into their relationship.

Over the coming weeks as each person understood their new roles and how to get the best out of themselves and each other, a few things started to happen.

The husband started to feel much happier independently of his wife. He noticed that he had more energy, he felt empowered and alive. By playing the role he thought his wife wanted him to be, he had lost himself.

It was critical for his wife to see this happiness within him because she knew his change of behaviour was likely to last if he was happier.

For the wife she had responded well to her husbands new energy. She felt her husband was starting to understand her and what was important to her. As she felt him step-up and understand her she felt she could start to let go.

This enabled her seemingly dead feelings to start to return.

What was great for him was he could see what he was doing was now actually working.

This couple learnt not only how important it was to create the emotional connection they both needed they also learnt how to protect the relationship moving forward.

This process was not just a journey to connected with each other it was a journey to connect with themselves and how to bring their best selves to their relationship, family and life…

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • All successful people have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce! - May 30, 2020
  • 10 Steps for Divorce Prevention - May 25, 2020
  • Marriage Breakthrough – “Why did they change their minds?” - May 23, 2020

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"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

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Recent Posts

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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