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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Should couples expect relationship problems?

I have put this post together because a few people have asked me why couples that started their lives together in love can find themselves in serious trouble without there being an obvious problem like an affair? 

I want you to see the chain reaction that leads relationships to go wrong. Of course every situation is different, but there are some core challenges which underpins the process to go from a loving relationship to divorce.

The process I have illustrated is simplified so this post didn’t turn into a book, however please note each part has many complexities and consequences.

Relationships die because of one core reason. If the individuals needs are not met, a chain reaction is set off which can cause severe problems and is why loving couples end up divorcing unnecessary.

Not understanding and meeting your partners needs can have the following effects.

Firstly trust will become a problem because when a couple do not meet each others critical needs it creates the feeling their partner is not connected to what’s really important to them.

This may lead them to feeling isolated, lonely, detached, emotionally numb.

In essence they can feel that their partner doesn’t care about them and so they won’t feel loved in the way they need. This is a big red flag for any person to be on guard emotionally.

When a person feels their partner doesn’t care, or want to understand them, their future becomes too uncertain and so their focus moves them to what they can control, this new controlling state is usually destructive for the relationship.

Most individuals in this space will also be struggling to find their partner attractive as their polarity shifts and the attraction dies. You see it’s actually impossible to protect yourself from your partner and love them at the same time.

When a person is in this place emotionally they will create patterns of behaviour that further disconnects them from who they really are. E.G. A naturally loving person can find themselves doing the reverse to protect themselves for them this is exhausting. This is why some people complain they are hating who they are becoming when they are with their partner.

This disconnect from their true self happens mainly when they are with their partner. This process empties them emotionally. They may want to spend less time with their partner and more time with others, hobbies or work.

They can cycle from feeling sad to feeling angry and back again only getting off this endless cycle through distraction, drink and other coping strategies.

Couples can do this without being conscious of their actions and the impact they are having on each other. They will practice this process without knowing the true consequences.

The more the person detaches emotionally the less they will care about the relationship. A sufficiently numb a person can see a new life as freedom from their partner and their trapped emotionally destructive state.

So can this pattern of destruction be stopped?

To reconnect the couple and save the relationship a strategy would have to be created that would lead them safely to reconnect not just to each other, but also to their true self, the part they lost in their quest to protect themselves as the relationship became destructive.

At any point this process it’s possible to reconnect the couple back to a loving connection once the couple understand what is really going on and what they are both really trying to achieve.

Couples are falling into this process of hidden traps without knowing and it leads them to the belief the relationship is dead and for the vast majority this is simply not true.

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

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Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

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Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
  • Never Ignore Your Partner’s Cry for Help – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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