This post is about a relationship myth that we all hear, one which most people will agree with, but it’s one that has tragic consequences if believed to be true.
The Myth: “Passion Dies As Time Passes”
Why is it so many people believe this is true. The answer is because they all experience it. Ask anyone if this is normal most people would agree it is.
The reason it is so dangerous for couples and their relationships is because it’s not strictly true, but if accepted, couples will believe this is normal and accept the death of that part of their relationship.
Loss of intimacy is one of the top reasons for divorce so understanding how to keep the passion alive is critical.
The truth about passion.
The reality: Passion doesn’t automatically die with time, the reason passion dies is because the couple stop meeting each others core needs as they take each other for granted. When this happens the dynamics of the couple changes and intimacy becomes the victim. Usually resentment and loss of respect forms part of the relationship dynamic.
At this point trust becomes an issue for the couple and with a loss of trust, meeting each others needs become a low priority as one or both will start to focus on themselves thus neglecting the relationship even further.
Many couples are not clear on what it really takes to grow their relationships. Men can feel their wives are impossible to please, women can feel their husbands don’t understand them and seem to have no desire to try.
The relationship no longer meets their critical needs and so they go outside of the relationship to feel good. The couple lose their connection as work, friends, hobbies, children take over.
They don’t really pay much attention to their loss initially until one day someone, or something ignites their sexual energy and they suddenly realise that what they once had they have now lost. Their at that point relationship can feel pointless.
- If you have lost the passion in your relationship now you are friends at best.
Your relationship is vulnerable so don’t become comfortable if the passion has gone, this place is only normal for those couples heading for problems.
Society teaches us these myths and then society presents us with the results of it’s education.
The divorce statistics speak for themselves.